SAHMs Need Adult Time

This week has been rough. I had the poop spectacular, horrible teething, clinginess, soaked sheets (another lovely thing!), and a whole lot of sleep deprivation. I think I also have a bit of a cold...or allergies? Whatever. It involves post-nasal drip and it's annoying as hell. Did I mention it's also HOT? Yeah. Loving that Cali heat right now.

I am convinced single parents are tetched ... or plum crazy.

Needless to say I'm in some serious need of adult time. Adult time is any time when kids are absent or you are doing adult things. Adult things range from getting your freak on (obviously) to watching a movie that has explosions, fighting, gore, swearing, or sexual situations. Even working out could be adult time if the kids aren't around vying for attention. Adult time also includes taking a leisurely shower or bath without any pressure to finish quickly.

I've gotten...a little adult time. I think I can count one shower and one movie (sort of - both were a little rushed). But today I'm sitting in Ellen's Pancake House waiting for a friend and guess what? No Kiddo. He's with his grandparents. My friend is running a little late. It's actually wonderful because I have time to write this without having to worry about Kiddo needing something. I even texted some friends I haven't talked to in ages.

I do however feel pressure from the waitstaff and other patrons....one waitress or another has come over to ask after me like five time. I want to tell them, "Don't you know I'm a stay at home mom and I had a crap week this week?! Give a girl a break!"

They probably don't care. It's fine. I'm good. I'm getting adult time.

Six Month Sleep Problems

I've been told a lot recently that I should have kiddo sleep alone and cry it out.

There is nothing I hate more than when someone tells me what will work best for kiddo's sleep. I say this because from the time he was a newborn he slept better with us. Not only did he sleep better, but so did we.

Now things are changing, but not how you might think.

He's clingier than ever. He used to let other people, however short a list, put him to bed. Now he wails unless he's snuggled and nursing. Sleeping alone? Forget it. Cry it out? Don't be ridiculous. He's been crying quite enough.

In the middle of the night he's begun crying and thrashing in his sleep - at least 3 times every night if not more. He's also going to sleep later and waking up earlier. He's so tired these days he's got bags under his eyes. It's awful.
I'm forcing him to take at least 3 naps during the day which helps his overall mood, but he's still spacey and fussier than I'd like. And of course with the sleep I've been getting, I'm crankier too.

So what's causing all this sleep disruption?

There are several reasons I've discovered as possibly ruining our nights:

1. Allergies - possible. Baby noses get stuffed and it gets uncomfortable causing them to fuss in the middle of the night. I have allergies which means kiddo could too, so it isn't off the table. Still he's not really showing signs of allergies.
2. Illness - while I understand how this could be (see the allergy reasoning above), I don't think this is the cause...unless junk in the air counts as illness? Right now there's a lot of crap in the air around here - pollen, fertilizer, cut grass, and just dirt. There's only been a little rain and the junk in the air is getting to everyone.
3. Night terrors - caused by over-tiredness. Possible. Night terrors are nightmares that babies and young children don't wake from. They thrash around and cry horribly until the terror is over. Soothing a child in a night terror is supposed to make them last longer, except when I soothe kiddo the episodes end sooner so I don't think this is the cause.
4. Developmental leap - possible. Kiddo is *really* close to crawling. I mean, really. He loves tummy time and gets super frustrated when he doesn't get to move around. I guess you could say he's commando crab crawling at the moment (going backwards on his belly) but he's got the urge to do the typical crawl. Apparently when the leap is achieved, the night crying disappears.
5. And then there is teething. Kiddo does have two teeth coming through the bottom gums right now, so it could be discomfort from this as well. It's hard to know. Christian doesn't think it's worth giving him Ibuprofen for anything at this point so soothing will have to do...
6. It could also be a combination of things, which is just as likely as some of the individual reasons.

Whatever the case, I'm being religious about kiddo's napping. It seems to help, but he still has these bags under his eyes. I guess I'll just have to wait until whatever this is passes for those to disappear. In the mean time, we'll nap and soothe and sleep how we sleep best.

The First Thanksgiving: An Adventure

Tomorrow will be kiddo's first Thanksgiving. Of course he can't appreciate the spread involved, and because of that, along with my husband's preferences, we're booking it to the Mojave.

*cough*

Yes we're taking our 3 month old son to go desert dirt biking with his grandparents for his first T-day.

Well there are a few things you should know about this adventure of ours.

First, I have never ridden a dirt bike. I may have married a biker, but I'm not one.

Secondly, I have gone camping a total of 2 times - both in a tent with my husband. While I enjoyed both escapades, the first one involved a large glittering lake (actually glittering with specks of pyrite) and the second involved ginormous redwood trees. These are things I absolutely love - water and trees.

Water and trees are the opposite of the desert.

To be fair, I like the desert in winter. It's the right temperature for me and often it's wet enough to boast beautiful flowers. I look forward to these things.

I'm unsure about the dirt biking with a baby thing. I'm not sure if there will be enough interesting walking trails for me to continue my workout regime (getting that baby weight off is a priority - plus the marriage weight I've been accumulating for 5+ years).

I'm also concerned about kiddo's eye. His right tearduct is underdeveloped (normal for a baby under 6 months). This means it doesn't drain properly, which means it's continuously goopy. I massage it and wipe away the gunk, but the situation is ripe for ocular irritation, particularly conjunctivitis.

If the sand isn't wet enough, dust will fly everywhere. Kiddo is so small, even if he begrudgingly wears his sunglasses, I'm afraid his eye will get worse. It had gotten a lot better in the last month but a really windy/dusty outing caused it to get nearly as bad as it was his first weeks of life. I don't want the problem exacerbated because Daddy wanted to ride bikes. :-/

Whatever happens, the time is sure to be an adventure. I have several plans in place should it be too windy/dusty for kiddo. I just hope he doesn't get bored being in the camper for 3 days if the weather doesn't cooperate. He is only a baby, but he's also already over Peek-a-boo (he knows how the game works and is no longer entertained by it). This kid is too smart for his own good. And he's teething. It may be a tough trip.

I'm crossing my fingers as I pray.

Ever had a tough trip with a little one? Give us some tips and pointers below!

I Can't Even Breathe

This week has been really hard. With the flood issue causing our place to be in disarray and it being incredibly muggy for the Bay, I've been more than a little uncomfortable.

In fact, I couldn't breathe.

Literally.

Between my constant congestion (something I've had to some extent for months), my diminished lung capacity, and the humid air, I was literally seeing spots. I was gulping at the air trying to breathe. I couldn't go up the stairs some days this week without Christian watching me and holding the railing because I was afraid something would happen.

The day after the flood was the worst for the breathing issue, but it hasn't gone away. Trying to follow along with the "deep breathing" part of the HypnoBabies tracks is impossible for me. Having a conversation over the phone is nearly impossible. I'm reminded of my late grandparents who had emphysema - even opening my mouth wide offers some relief, but certainly nothing close to how I breathed before.

It's kind of funny. I remember someone once told me that no one could take away my singing - it was something I could carry with me forever because it was my body. And I thought they were right for the longest time. It seems logical. Except they were wrong.

If you can't breathe, you can't sing.

You can't talk...another thing I've always been good at.

But apparently breathing isn't necessary for crying, because I've been doing that a lot lately. No siree bob - you can cry for hours without breathing. You just can't sing. Or talk. Or clean. Or anything else useful. It's the most horrible combination of things ever.

My guess is the lack of breathing is just making me more anxious, same as having the flood disaster from earlier this week. I don't think anxiety is good for breathing either...but I doubt my anxiety is going to abate any time soon. You see, even Christian's boss doesn't think we can last through the winter with this job. He basically said as much when Christian asked why they hadn't ordered him uniforms yet. And well, they aren't going to...because there's no way we can stay here if Christian is working at that job come October. There won't be enough work, and therefore, not enough income. And if we're leaving anyway, what's the point in them paying to have uniforms made and cleaned?

Oh I don't know...so we don't end up ruining half of Christian's clothes with grease and solvents?! That would be nice!

I'm not angry. Really.

But I do feel so useless right now...not being able to breathe...not being able to work...or cook...or really anything. I'm working on writing stuff, but I have to take a break sometimes, and I have no idea how useful that will or won't be. That is yet to be determined.

With everything being so uncertain and so frustrating, I'm becoming depressed. I can feel that happening even as I try to keep it at bay. It's probably been the case, but now it's palpable. And I'm reminded what people often say to anxious, upset, and depressed people:

"Just take a deep breath... just breathe."

Thanks. I'll do that.

10 Cheap Ways to Beat the Heat Prego Style

Sitting on my couch downstairs I listen to the breeze going through the citrus leaves outside my loft and I wish it was cooler. The humidity from living by water is epic, especially when compared to other places in California where the concept of humidity is downright mythical. Here I actually have mosquitoes. I don't know if they exist in certain other parts of the state.

I feel like I'm dying. This level of heat reminds me of when I was first married, during the most ridiculous and mixed up time in my married life - when we first moved to Phoenix AZ.

Now, Phoenicians are good at dealing with heat. They have it down to a science - a very expensive science (think: $300 per month for electricity during the summer) but it works. If you can stay indoors during the season of Hell (which really does exist in Phoenix) then you can live. Of course, Hell lasts from about April through October. We moved there in August.

We moved to a place that didn't have a working fridge or AC unit. Those first months of married life were tough, and largely spent in the comfort of the nearest mall's food court. While I wouldn't wish it on anyone (or care to repeat such a horrid time), it makes me really REALLY glad I'm not pregnant in Phoenix. As it is, with the latest heatwave in Oakland I'm feeling like I'm stewing in my own juices (a novel experience for someone who doesn't really sweat). SO, I thought I would share the tricks I learned to deal with heat while growing up on the East Coast and living in Phoenix without AC (because let's face it, few places in the Bay have AC).

1. Cold showers are the most divine thing in the world. Yes they shock your system for 30 solid seconds, but after that, they are sheer bliss. The feeling lasts for a little while afterwards, especially if you can get dry quickly (living in a humid place you want to have good towels).
2. A strong fan is essential. When you're coated in sweat, nothing feels better than a nice breeze. This might be elementary, but it bears repeating. To up the cool factor, set out a bowl of ice in front of the fan. Oh yeah! That's cold!
3. Drink water. This might seem strange to put on a list of things to help you keep cool, but without water you can sweat too much, dehydrate, and overheat (fainting is just not a good plan). Plus, there's something really wonderful about the feeling of cold water going down your throat on a hot day.
4. To keep the sticky at bay, coat yourself in baby powder. If it really is too humid, this will be a god-send.
5. Loose clothing is amazing. It let's you have a little draft carrying the hot away from your body. I am currently living in dresses and skirts.
6. Take a shower before you sleep and wash your hair. Sleep with wet hair and keep your body temperature cooler for the whole night. Bliss!
7. Park yourself in a pool or the ocean. Even if you haven't gotten your prego suit yet, just get whatever clothes are most comfortable and wade right into that water. Stay there until your skin shrivels. It's worth it. If you don't have access to that, break out the hose - or the sprinkler. No one is too old for this - especially a prego lady in a heatwave.
8. Head to the library. Libraries are free (for now) and generally air conditioned. Plus they have stacks of interesting books to wile away your time learning something when you'd otherwise be wilted in a gutter somewhere.
9. Splurge and go to a movie. Movie theaters are notorious for being freezing (well, unless your pregnant, in which case their temps are just right). That is a solid block of 2 hours in cold heaven!
10. And of course, you can always hang out at the mall. Window shop, buy some lunch, bring a book and your laptop. You could spend the whole day there if necessary.

What are some ways you've learned to beat the heat while being prego? Leave a comment and let me know! I'm always looking for more suggestions!

In Order to Faint

My Father's Day was a little exciting. By a little, I mean a lot. By exciting, I mean more scary than exciting.

You see, I almost fainted. In church.

Yeah.

I'm usually pretty good about eating well, getting enough sleep (even if it's displaced to other times of the day via naps and aching joints), and I've dramatically increased my water consumption. Unfortunately, all of these efforts are sidelined when confronted by the powerful force of temperature.

Temperature and I haven't always gotten along. I blame both my parents for this. My mother actually is allergic to the cold. Seriously. Allergic. I'm not joking. My father becomes a human sloth in extreme heat. He literally stops functioning.

Guess what? Yeah.

I'm not allergic to the cold, but I do have pernio which leaves lovely blood blisters on my fingers and toes any time they're exposed to wet cold (cold being defined as in the 40s). As to the heat, yeah. I don't function well. Part of this may be due to not sweating.

Okay, I DO sweat. It does happen. It just doesn't happen like it does for most people. I never drip in sweat. A light sheen is about as much as I get (unless it's like 90% humid or something). So what happens when it gets really hot? I can't cool down. My blood vessels expand in an effort to remove excess heat, and my body neglects to coat my skin in water to help carry that heat away.

In other words, it's REALLY easy for me to overheat (Yes, I'm a lizard lady. I told you about that RH negative thing. It's totally true. Really.).

Well, add in a lack of sleep and a high sugar breakfast and then place me in a stuffy ridiculously hot sanctuary and you guessed it - I will keel over like nobody's business. Fortunately for me, I've fainted before (I mean, how could I not with my physiology?!) so I recognized the signs. I started sweating. I tried to drink more water. My skin got cold. My ears started to buzz. My vision started to tunnel. I felt nauseous. Apparently from across the room people could see me turn white as a sheet. Needless to say, we left. Christian and I ended up camping out on a couch in a sitting room for the remainder of the service until I was closer to a normal temperature. I drank more water. I breathed. The baby kicked letting me know s/he was alright (which at the time was very reassuring).

Now I know I can't go to church without my water bottle and my hair up. I also have to ask them to keep the fans on regardless or I literally can't go (at least I couldn't stay in worship). It seems backwards that church could physically endanger me, but there you have it. It can happen when you're a lizard lady who attends a church further inland in a place where the temperature is always 10-30 degrees higher than the coast in summer.

Throughout July and August, pray for me. I'll need it.

Time to drink some more water...