10 Lessons in Toddler Tantrums

Kiddo amazes me.

He's gotten to that intense phase of toddlerhood where he can be an angel one second and the next is screaming bloody murder. There is very little, if any, middle ground.

As part of this, I have discovered ten lessons I thought I would share:

1. Saying "no" to him almost always gets at least a pout. It is adorable, and frequently makes everyone giggle...which often leads us to lesson 2...
2. If he gets past the pout and into whimpering, evasive action (i.e. redirect) must happen immediately. Beloved toys and rough-housing or dancing have the highest success rates.
3. If he gets past whimpering, it is over unless he can nurse. This is the last ditch effort to avoid total meltdown, which sometimes can't happen. If we're in the middle of a park, shopping area, or I am busy, Kiddo proceeds to blow my eardrums out.
4. If he calms down after the tantrum, only to be told "no" again, he will bypass pouting and whimpering, going straight to blood-curdling scream. Often this is accompanied by hand gestures, wild facial expressions, toy-throwing, and kicking or stomping. Sometimes he flings himself against a couch like a damsel in distress.
5. Redirects work most of the time, unless he is hungry, tired, hurt, or ill.
6. He is angelic in public 99% of the time, so much so, that people do not believe me when I say he has meltdowns.
7. As soon as we are away from other people, the potential for a meltdown jumps like 75 points.
8. I love my kid even when he is throwing a temper tantrum.
9. Temper tantrums make me laugh....a lot...unless I am frustrated myself.
10. I am the all-purpose soother and everything calms down much faster when I am around. Kisses, cuddles, nursing, and soothing words in his ear, all work to make things better. About 20 seconds into this, he jumps off my lap grinning ear to ear, squealing in delight.

Tantrums are not the best part of parenting, but they can definitely be managed. Through trial and error I discovered how best to manage Kiddo's swings. And now, we take them as they come. This way, everyone gets calmer faster, and my eardrums stay intact. It's almost a win-win. Almost.

18 Tools to Survive Active Babies

A few of my favorite things...

To survive an active older baby, you need special tools as a mom. Nothing can have just one use or be purely ornamental. Everything has purpose. Here are my tools of the trade:

1. A good hair tie or clip - because otherwise my hair will get pulled.
2. Stud earrings - because dangly earrings will get pulled.
3. A large purse - to carry my make-up, phone, wallet, sunglasses, tissues, pens, compact mirror, and extra toys in. Just add the kitchen sink.
4. Dental picks- ones with floss are good to use anywhere. Who knows how easily I'll be able to floss my teeth and these are a twofer!
5. A nice bodywash - I just got one that feels like I'm spreading silk across my skin. I might get short showers, but damn they feel luxurious!
6. Spray lotion- this new fangled product means I get lotion on my skin twice as often as I would otherwise (I.e. I avoid Kiddo meltdowns).
7. Spray sunblock - because otherwise I would never be able to protect my skin (I.e. helps avoid Kiddo meltdowns)!
8. Iced tea - cold, refreshing, and caffienated. You do the math.
9. Robe - having this to run around the house in is great when waking up and going to bed. The pockets alone are lifesavers!
10. Exercise band - I can workout anywhere with these puppies and I can't live without working out. Such a good stress-buster!
11. Nutella - It's dessert! It's breakfast! It's phenomenal! On whole grain toast I get a chocolate and nut butter fix in one at any time of day without the guilt. This is my new favorite food!
12. A large throw pillow - sounds simple and random, but this allows me to hang out with Kiddo, minimizes his fussing, and write (or play games on my phone) all while being comfy. Otherwise my lumbar region would need to be realigned.
13. Highlighter (or bronzer) - I've said it before, but I'll say it again; this junk is MAGICAL! When I feel old, frumpy, sleepy, or any of the 7 dwarves, I just put some of this on my face and viola! I look rested, and glowing! Every mom MUST HAVE this! Such a mood enhancer (oh, and you know, your face too!).
14. Wedge flip-flops - really any dressier yet comfy sandal could satisfy this one. But chasing around Kiddo takes energy. I need comfy shoes that look cute. Sometimes that's a tall order. Heh.
15. 4 in 1 Nail file/buffer - I don't have time or money for mani/pedis. I don't have the energy to deal with polishing my nails myself. There's so much effort in maintaining them and inevitably they'll get chipped 5 minutes later. But buffing my nails I can handle! A few minutes of work before going to sleep and I have shiny pretty nails for a couple weeks. No worries about chipping or chemicals and just one low price! Perfection!
16. Scarves - I love scarves. I've been a fan for a long time. They can add flare to a drab outfit or make an old shirt look new. They don't break when Kiddo pulls on them and they can double as a nursing cover in a pinch. Plus when I wear one, I feel fabulous!
17. A notepad - I might seem like a ludite, but I need this! I forget things if I don't write them down. Something small I can fit in my purse or something large so I can plan hostile takeovers (or just what to take on a trip) - I use them all!
18. Prenatal vitamin - Since I'm breastfeeding, I need this to feel normal. Yes, I eat pretty well balanced meals etc, but when I don't take my vitamin, I notice a big difference in my energy and abilities. This is a must.

What are your must-have tools for surviving an active baby or toddler? Leave a comment below! I'd love suggestions to improve and make my life easier too!

Upcycling for DIY Baby Leg Warmers

Now that kiddo is threatening to crawl we have come across a potential problem - rug burned knees.

The first option is for kiddo to wear pants ALL the time. This is impractical. He gets hot and at home we cloth diaper, which makes pants more than a little difficult.

There are knee guards you can buy but they're ugly and sort of pointless. I mean, thighs still get cold and these things are like little sweatbands for baby's knees.

There is another option - BabyLegs or rather, leg warmers. Now I did have these on my registry, but didn't get them. I could have purchased them, but I didn't really want to spend money on them because they seem a little overpriced for what they are so...

I made some out of unused socks.

Stay with me here...

First I selected some of Christian's and my socks that hadn't been used, didn't work, or didn't fit and would be long enough. Second I cut above the heel of the sock. This would become the leg of the baby leg. Third I cut the heel off and the toe. This piece I folded in on itself to become a cuff at kiddo's ankle.

If I had my sewing machine available, this next bit would have been a lot quicker...but I didn't. So I hand stitched the cuffs to the unfinished end of my baby leg warmers.

And...voila! 7 more times and I had 4 sets of baby legs using materials around my house (I should say I have another pair of partial leg warmers because I want to change out the cuff material.). I slipped kiddo into them immediately and I was more than a little excited; it's the first time he wore anything I made for him.

And how does kiddo like his new clothes? Let's just say the ventilation and knee protection combined with sweet style is perfect!

10 Cheap Ways to Beat the Heat Prego Style

Sitting on my couch downstairs I listen to the breeze going through the citrus leaves outside my loft and I wish it was cooler. The humidity from living by water is epic, especially when compared to other places in California where the concept of humidity is downright mythical. Here I actually have mosquitoes. I don't know if they exist in certain other parts of the state.

I feel like I'm dying. This level of heat reminds me of when I was first married, during the most ridiculous and mixed up time in my married life - when we first moved to Phoenix AZ.

Now, Phoenicians are good at dealing with heat. They have it down to a science - a very expensive science (think: $300 per month for electricity during the summer) but it works. If you can stay indoors during the season of Hell (which really does exist in Phoenix) then you can live. Of course, Hell lasts from about April through October. We moved there in August.

We moved to a place that didn't have a working fridge or AC unit. Those first months of married life were tough, and largely spent in the comfort of the nearest mall's food court. While I wouldn't wish it on anyone (or care to repeat such a horrid time), it makes me really REALLY glad I'm not pregnant in Phoenix. As it is, with the latest heatwave in Oakland I'm feeling like I'm stewing in my own juices (a novel experience for someone who doesn't really sweat). SO, I thought I would share the tricks I learned to deal with heat while growing up on the East Coast and living in Phoenix without AC (because let's face it, few places in the Bay have AC).

1. Cold showers are the most divine thing in the world. Yes they shock your system for 30 solid seconds, but after that, they are sheer bliss. The feeling lasts for a little while afterwards, especially if you can get dry quickly (living in a humid place you want to have good towels).
2. A strong fan is essential. When you're coated in sweat, nothing feels better than a nice breeze. This might be elementary, but it bears repeating. To up the cool factor, set out a bowl of ice in front of the fan. Oh yeah! That's cold!
3. Drink water. This might seem strange to put on a list of things to help you keep cool, but without water you can sweat too much, dehydrate, and overheat (fainting is just not a good plan). Plus, there's something really wonderful about the feeling of cold water going down your throat on a hot day.
4. To keep the sticky at bay, coat yourself in baby powder. If it really is too humid, this will be a god-send.
5. Loose clothing is amazing. It let's you have a little draft carrying the hot away from your body. I am currently living in dresses and skirts.
6. Take a shower before you sleep and wash your hair. Sleep with wet hair and keep your body temperature cooler for the whole night. Bliss!
7. Park yourself in a pool or the ocean. Even if you haven't gotten your prego suit yet, just get whatever clothes are most comfortable and wade right into that water. Stay there until your skin shrivels. It's worth it. If you don't have access to that, break out the hose - or the sprinkler. No one is too old for this - especially a prego lady in a heatwave.
8. Head to the library. Libraries are free (for now) and generally air conditioned. Plus they have stacks of interesting books to wile away your time learning something when you'd otherwise be wilted in a gutter somewhere.
9. Splurge and go to a movie. Movie theaters are notorious for being freezing (well, unless your pregnant, in which case their temps are just right). That is a solid block of 2 hours in cold heaven!
10. And of course, you can always hang out at the mall. Window shop, buy some lunch, bring a book and your laptop. You could spend the whole day there if necessary.

What are some ways you've learned to beat the heat while being prego? Leave a comment and let me know! I'm always looking for more suggestions!

Maternity Clothes Are Stupidly Expensive & The Secret Prego Wardrobe

I am in fact wearing a maternity shirt today. However, my skirt I bought when I was NOT pregnant. My underwear is NOT maternity. In fact, I can count on one hand how many "maternity" clothes I own (3 shirts - that's IT!).

Maternity clothes are stupidly expensive. Some of this has to do with the amount of fabric being used. Yes, there is more fabric and therefore the cost goes up. That said, does it need to go up $10? I don't think so. It's not THAT much more fabric. As you can imagine, I began scheming of ways to avoid the shakedown that is "maternity wear."

The only thing I really want to have that seems out of reach is a pregnancy bathing suit. I want to go swimming when I'm visiting Santa Barbara in a month, but I don't want to spend $100 for a bathing suit I can only wear for a few months. That's stupid. There are a few options that might substitute, but I'm not sure I even want to spend $26 on something I'll only wear a few times before donating it, and I don't want to buy a used bathing suit. That's gross.

So, I may have to fork over some dough for the bathing suit. Not sure on that one, but I'm slowly coming around to the idea. However, that doesn't have anything to do with my everyday wardrobe. So, I will share with you the little known secrets of spending very little to get reasonable clothes that will work even during the later months of pregnancy (and after!). Here is my must have list:

1. Yoga pants are your friend - especially the ones with the fold over waistbands. I bought 2 pairs in a size larger than I normally would have worn before pregnancy. That said, even early on when I didn't look pregnant and wasn't swollen, they fit fine. They stretch. They work forever. Love them. Buy them. Wear them daily.
2. Knit skirts are your friend - especially the ones with the fold over waistbands. Sound familiar? I had two from about a year before I got pregnant that work wonderfully, especially now that summer is gearing up.
3. Broom skirts are worth it. I have two of them. They are floaty, long enough to cover my swollen knees, and are super comfortable.
4. Bra extenders are necessary. I would buy these even if you purchased special maternity bras because your cups grew. The reason is your ribs will continue to expand, and extenders cost like $6 instead of a new bra which if it's any good will be at least $30. See the savings?
5. Maxi dresses are amazing. These things are so comfy and you'll be able to wear them even after you lose the baby weight. I had some from before pregnancy that still work and I bought a few on sale to increase my options. Dress them up with a few accessories and your options are limitless (and comfy! Don't forget comfy!).
6. Peasant tops account for expansion. I went to the discount store and found a slew of peasant tops that were cute and easily accommodated my growing midsection. I think I spent $30 on like 5 shirts. If I'd gotten maternity tops, I might have gotten one nice shirt for that price. Bleh!
7. Raid your husband's cast-offs! A couple of my shirts are old tees Christian doesn't like/wear. I cut out the dorky neckline and voila! I have a cute, fashion forward screen-print top that can handle my burgeoning belly!
8. Flip-flops are amazing! Especially if this is your first pregnancy, your feet are expanding. If you're like me and prego in summer, there is a special kind of swelling happening from toe to sole. Flip-flops make life so much easier. Plus, you don't have to bend down and buckle or tie anything! 
9. Don't be afraid of thrift! While I have NOT gone to thrift stores (just because my shopping schedule doesn't really match theirs) there are a lot of donated maternity items there. You can find all kinds of high end once expensive pieces from the thrift store. So if you can't handle the idea of wearing peasant tops even with a cute belt for 6 months, check them out!

Even if you follow all these secrets, you may still want to buy a few "maternity" pieces (after all, I do love my 3 maternity tops). However, the total amount of money you spend will be peanuts compared to others who can't seem to get past the maternity ads. Your wallet, and your husband will thank you. Besides, you can wear some of those clothes long after you've popped that baby out. I plan to do that with my wardrobe (yes, yoga pants are totally a new mom's best friend!).

Unexpected Symtoms: Itchy Armpits

For the past few days I've had some intense itchiness...in my armpits.

They have been so itchy that I was scratching so hard I nearly broke skin. My poor armpits were scratched raw, red, and puffy under the force of my nails. I didn't change deoderants. I didn't change soaps. I didn't change my razor. We didn't even switch our laundry detergent.

I knew itchy skin was a thing in pregnancy, but specifically the armpits?? That's just weird! I know I'm not the only one because I searched the web and found numerous forum threads discussing this same incredibly annoying issue. But did I find one single blog post about it? Did I find any articles about this? No! Of course not! The web pages moved on to allergic reactions and other useless things completely unrelated to my situation.

Thanks internet. You fail.

I did find a reference to itchy armpits and breastfeeding, but I'm not breastfeeding. My baby is still very much *inside* my uterus, kicking away.

My only guess? This is a hormone thing. The best solution as proferred by random forum threads? Throwing out the antipersperant and slathering on some hydrocortisone cream. So last night, I coated my raw pits with hydrocortisone and went to sleep. In the morning, not only did they feel better, but they looked better too. Instead of reaching for my daily antipersperant, I grabbed my jasmine & vanilla scented babypowder (even before kids, it's always a good idea to have some around). It was gentle enough to keep my skin from getting irritated, but strong enough to keep me from getting stinky or soaked. Granted, I don't sweat a lot (nor do I have strong body odor) so it might not work for everyone. However, my sensitive pits were still dry and happy by the end of the day.

Now I'm wondering why I spent so much on antipersperant all those years. So...the experience may have been a backhanded lesson...

I know there are probably more hidden gems of symptoms waiting for me here in the third trimester, but I'll just have to wait and see what they are. In the mean time, I highly suggest buying some babypowder. That stuff is so much cheaper than antipersperant! If I'm lucky, my other weird symptoms will provide similar cheap lifehacks. Here's hoping!