Projectile Poop - The Myth is Real!

I'm not putting any pictures...or video for this post. Seriously. You need to be able to eat later.

My dad says the scariest words in the English language are "projectile poop." I'm not sure if they're the scariest but they're certainly up there. There's nothing like being startled by a 9 lb wonder child jettisoning his poo through the air on to his surroundings in a great farty burst.

The first time this happened my parents were still here. My kid's poop went about 2 feet and landed on my poor father (who was attempting to change kiddo at the time) and the cement floor. In some ways that was a blessing. My dad just got it on his arm, which along with the cement floor, was easy to clean.

We were not so lucky last night.

Last night kiddo had already filled his diaper and needed to be changed. As I mentioned in a previous post, we're battling the chemical burns of diaper rash and so it's even more important to change soiled diapers immediately. The problem arises when the kiddo poops again. Breastfed infants poop a lot. It's just part of the deal...which of course means just as many diaper changes...and the possibility of kiddo pooping while being changed.

So I took off his diaper and began cleaning his tiny newborn bum. Then, just as I went for one more wipe, I heard the horrible farting sound that begins just before kiddo poops. In less than a second I jumped and screamed as kiddo's yellow feces flew through the air in a 4 foot arc across the room and sailed miraculously in the garbage can, with only minimal casualties.

Our carpet wasn't spared. Nor was our flat sheet...or my arm...or Christian's leg.

It was a poop spectacular. Really. Spectacular.

Diaper changes might need safety goggles, aprons, and gloves. Possibly a hazmat suit. Just saying. This is for real. You've been warned!

Do you have any diaper changing adventures? Share them below!