The Last Weeks' Tweaks - Getting Through the Final Month

37 weeks laughing at Chrisitan's jokes

Since I reached full-term, I'm realizing I have a few different things to change around in my habits. Some things are harkening back to earlier practices (i.e. second trimester exercising routines) and others are brand new.

So not only am I doing all my HypnoBabies requirements (or at least trying to), but I'm also adding some breathing exercises when I feel short of breath (which so far haven't really done much but a valiant effort!), my modified diet, additional exercise, and of course, "tummy time."

Unfortunately my carbless plan isn't working...like not at all. I tried to be really good yesterday and today but there was a major flaw in this plan; I can't seem to eat enough to feel full. 

I have some snacks, like hard boiled eggs and cottage cheese, but I still feel hungry. Not only do I still feel hungry, I still feel the need to eat carbs.

Maybe I would feel differently if I had uber fiber-filled bread (You know, the kind that makes you poo bricks? That bread! Bleh.).

So...I confess...I ate a hamburger. I had to. I was starving! And for the first time in 2 days I felt like I was full. Normally, I don't eat my entire burger. I pick off some of the lettuce or onion or bread or something...but not today. I ate the entire thing. That should tell you something - it certainly told me something.

I don't care what that midwife said. I'm eating how my body feels I should.

Don't get me wrong - I'm still steering clear of pastries and Rice Krispies (sigh) but I think I'm going back to my peanut butter and banana sandwiches for breakfast. Then for lunch I'll stick with my new habit of making half my plate raw veggies (which seems to feel pretty good even if it means I have to have a hard boiled egg for a snack 30 minutes later). I'm still undecided about what to do with the dates though.

*It should be noted in all my reading and researching I've done, it's next to impossible to guess a baby's weight/size with any accuracy prior to birth. Ultrasounds are inaccurate. Belly checks are inaccurate. Fundal heights are inaccurate. Weight gain being linked to baby size isn't necessarily accurate. There are just too many variables. So the idea that I should cut out carbs completely based on these commonly inaccurate indicators is frankly ridiculous. All that said, simple carbs do lead to bigger babies, so you shouldn't eat junk in the last few months. But with all things, take it with a grain of salt...or pepper...or a splash of whatever is recommended for your situation.

Exercising after meals is something I need to remind myself to do. I keep forgetting to walk, but it seems a modified warm-up routine that I used in my second trimester is enough to get in a little activity without making me feel like I'm going to fall over. This is definitely something I can do, though I've been pretty inconsistent the last few days.

Maybe the key to this one is just doing the exercise as soon as I think of it. My problem is usually getting caught up in other things and by the time I look at the clock, the day is over. I could, of course, return to making daily schedules...except for the fact that these days my schedule gets thrown out by naps and periodic exhaustion.

*sigh*

The final habit I added to my repertoire is "tummy time." Tummy time is something that is more frequently associated with babies - a time to practice holding their heads up and developing new skills. Yeah...that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about helping to turn a posterior baby anterior.

Kiddo's head is down, you see, but his back is to my back. This is also commonly referred to as "sunny-side up." Now before you harp all over me about how this will make my birthing time painful or some other such nonsense - I've read studies. Posterior babies don't actually indicate "back labor." Just as many anterior births result in back labor as posterior babies...so that's not a problem. It does however tend to result in longer labors.

Well, I'm not into that. My HypnoBabies tracks remind me daily that I deserve a short, easy birthing time. That's my goal.

Of course, I've also read studies that say that turning a baby from posterior to anterior before birth doesn't necessarily indicate the baby will stay that way. They've also shown that babies change position several times during early labor etc.

Still, this kid has been pretty much posterior for the last month. It's worth attempting some position changes. So out came my fitness ball, and I began leaning forward and typing at a table, as opposed to reclining on a bed. This is hell on my swollen feet, but it might change kiddo's position.

No matter how I look at this business of the last month, discomfort seems to be the name of the game. It's a series of trade-offs. In the end, I'm not sure exactly what I'll end up doing. All I know is I'll try to keep up with my blogs (so far, so good) and work on my writing goals (This week I put out the third book in my writing challenge...so there's that!). With everything else...I'll do the best I can and not worry about it if I miss something. One way or another, the kiddo will arrive and he'll be however he'll be. And it will be good.

I Can't Even Breathe

This week has been really hard. With the flood issue causing our place to be in disarray and it being incredibly muggy for the Bay, I've been more than a little uncomfortable.

In fact, I couldn't breathe.

Literally.

Between my constant congestion (something I've had to some extent for months), my diminished lung capacity, and the humid air, I was literally seeing spots. I was gulping at the air trying to breathe. I couldn't go up the stairs some days this week without Christian watching me and holding the railing because I was afraid something would happen.

The day after the flood was the worst for the breathing issue, but it hasn't gone away. Trying to follow along with the "deep breathing" part of the HypnoBabies tracks is impossible for me. Having a conversation over the phone is nearly impossible. I'm reminded of my late grandparents who had emphysema - even opening my mouth wide offers some relief, but certainly nothing close to how I breathed before.

It's kind of funny. I remember someone once told me that no one could take away my singing - it was something I could carry with me forever because it was my body. And I thought they were right for the longest time. It seems logical. Except they were wrong.

If you can't breathe, you can't sing.

You can't talk...another thing I've always been good at.

But apparently breathing isn't necessary for crying, because I've been doing that a lot lately. No siree bob - you can cry for hours without breathing. You just can't sing. Or talk. Or clean. Or anything else useful. It's the most horrible combination of things ever.

My guess is the lack of breathing is just making me more anxious, same as having the flood disaster from earlier this week. I don't think anxiety is good for breathing either...but I doubt my anxiety is going to abate any time soon. You see, even Christian's boss doesn't think we can last through the winter with this job. He basically said as much when Christian asked why they hadn't ordered him uniforms yet. And well, they aren't going to...because there's no way we can stay here if Christian is working at that job come October. There won't be enough work, and therefore, not enough income. And if we're leaving anyway, what's the point in them paying to have uniforms made and cleaned?

Oh I don't know...so we don't end up ruining half of Christian's clothes with grease and solvents?! That would be nice!

I'm not angry. Really.

But I do feel so useless right now...not being able to breathe...not being able to work...or cook...or really anything. I'm working on writing stuff, but I have to take a break sometimes, and I have no idea how useful that will or won't be. That is yet to be determined.

With everything being so uncertain and so frustrating, I'm becoming depressed. I can feel that happening even as I try to keep it at bay. It's probably been the case, but now it's palpable. And I'm reminded what people often say to anxious, upset, and depressed people:

"Just take a deep breath... just breathe."

Thanks. I'll do that.

Why I Think HypnoBabies is Awesome

As you might imagine, my blood pressure hasn't exactly been perfect for the the past few midwife appointments (Gee...I wonder how that could have happened?!).

My midwives were pretty excited that I was planning on using HypnoBabies, even though they haven't had a lot of experience with the program. Still they thought it would have positive benefits, especially in lowering my blood pressure, because of the nature of hypnosis and the relaxation practices imbedded in the program.

Well, I've been doing it for about a week. I don't know if my blood pressure has improved (my next appointment is on Monday). HOWEVER, I will say I am already appreciating the money I spent on the homestudy course.

The philosophy of HypnoBabies is one that involves positive language, positive imagery, and generally promoting the idea that pregnancy and birth are healthy and natural processes. These are things I can get behind. They are things that make sense to me. The regular 30+ minutes a day of relaxation and hypnotic suggestion already have begun to retrain my mind in how I think about the process of birth (and not just because of the renaming of certain things, like "contractions" are "pressure waves").

As a first time mom, before I was educated about childbirth and my options, I can honestly say I was frightened by the whole thing. There are a lot of scary ideas and images in the world - and unfortunately many of them are perpetuated by well-meaning friends and family. HypnoBabies really helps to reframe the process taking fear out of the equation, which is a good thing, because the result is it removes tension and allows birthing to progress the way it is meant to.  I've already found some of the discomfort from carrying a growing baby has lessened. I find myself focusing on positive images and ideas about birth more and more. I'm not worried about my birthing time. I trust it will go as it should and whatever discomfort or pressure sensations occur will be more than manageable.

And honestly, the calm and trust I feel I can directly connect to my time spent with HypnoBabies. And this is only the first week.

I don't know exactly what will happen with my birth. I can't know. All I do know is how I will react to it, and I trust my reaction to be positive, joyful, and relaxed. Because of my own limited experience with this program, I can genuinely recommend it to any and all pregnant women. If you follow the instructions and take the time to practice daily, I know it yields incredible benefits. It's definitely worth the cost.