How To Clean Poop Off of Everything

NOTE: This post is only for those who have the stomach for such things. There are no graphic pictures, but there are descriptions.

Up the back.
Up the shirt.
Down the pants.
On the legs.
On the arms.
Between the fingers.
Under the nails.
On the face.
All over the toys.
All over the pack n' play.

Good Morning Mom!

It's amazing what a little solid food will do to a child's bowels. Something that was manageable and contained turns into a wild chimpanzee display. That said, usually when you catch a dirty diaper early, it doesn't turn out this way.

It's probably my fault. It started last night. Kiddo is teething throughout his mouth (molars popping through- it's crazy in there!). He likes to nurse to sleep but was biting at every latch. Needless to say, he didn't fall asleep until 11. Then in the middle of the night he woke up whimpering and fussing and unable to latch (biting again). With some pain meds and a little rocking he fell back asleep. Mom didn't sleep as easily.

Well 7 AM came around. Kiddo nursed and then was AWAKE. Usually he'll play in his pack n' play for 30 to 45 minutes, so sleepy as I was, I put him in there. I probably can't do that any more...

Then Christian got up, got ready for work, and left. Kiddo played. I got to sleep.

Suddenly I heard a little whimper. Then another. Then it was steady whimpering. Then the smell wafted over.

Oh. My. God. NOOOOOOOOoooo!

Me covered in poop? Never!

I jumped up and saw it - poop EVERYWHERE. I'd experienced spectacular pooping escapades in Kiddo's newborn days, but this was a whole new level. This was peanut butter poop, as they call it. This was half solid ick all over his toys that couldn't be submerged in water. This was all over the pack n' play that we are borrowing! Oh god!

I lifted my poopy baby out of the mess and heard my saving grace. Someone was downstairs. Hallelujah! My dad hadn't left the house yet. I called for him and we proceeded to pry off the poop pajamas and hose baby down in cold water (the heater is slow). The result? Horrible-crying rinse down. It took care of the worst, but Kiddo still needed a real bath.

Then I got to work on the toys. First I isolated the clean ones (believe it or not there were some). I then picked through the items that could be washed in the machine and those that had to be done by hand. We started a load in the machine (play intended) and I scrubbed the goopy toys.

Next we had to get the pack n' play. The sides were clean except for an errant spot. That was easy peasy cleaning with some baby wipes. The mattress on the other hand, was a process. First I cleaned it with baby wipes, but it still needed work. My dad took soap and water and gave it a good scrub down. It currently resides on the balcony in the sun.

After all this, it was time for Kiddo's second bath. It went much better - kitchen sink as usual, warm, and with toys. He was a happy guy up until I got his diaper on. That was when he realized he was hungry and tired. He nursed, then granddad held him, and I got a shower (Who knows if poop splattered on my nightgown?!).

Now the poop monster is sleeping peacefully.

Today I'm not working out and I probably will worry about my wordcount goal tomorrow. It's past 10 and I haven't had my coffee yet.

Oh the joys of parenting!

What are your poop battle stories? I'd love to know how you dealt with the icky nasty mess! Leave a comment below!

Postpartum Fitness: Progress Report

Success!

I have yet to measure myself this week (if my measurements aren't completely embarrassing I may share)...but... Multiple people noticed and told me my jelly belly is smaller.Considering that I haven't really felt like I'm any smaller, this was really nice.

On the other hand, I have noticed the following exciting things:

• I'm now wearing (comfortably if not exactly how they used to fit) my pre-pregnancy jeans along with some tops.
• I have hamstrings. Noticeable hamstrings.
• My quads are not only hard, but changing shape significantly.
• My shoulders have indentations where before they were just round.
• My arms flex noticeably without effort - there is clearly more tricep and bicep definition.
• I see the shape of my hip bone started to be sculpted out of the jelly belly (very exciting!).
• I also have indentations on the side of my hips as well as the small of my back.
• My fingers have gotten a little boney again (my fingers have always been on the slender side but being able to comfortably wear certain rings again would be nice).

Some of these things haven't been seen for years. Others have never been seen. All of this is the result of logging my food and activity, working out 6 days a week, and caring for a giant baby.

To take it up a notch I've made some other small changes to continue to push myself in the right direction. Here are some random small things I've done to increase my activity and or help my overall health:

• Substituting iced tea or mineral water for diet soda. 
• Running/marching in place during commercial breaks while watching TV.
• Having the changing area on a different floor from myself.
• Allowing myself one co-nap with Kiddo.
• Substituting sweets with things like greek yogurt or Nutella on multigrain bread. 
• Doing hot feet or dancing while brushing my teeth.
• Doing yoga, stretching, or meditation at night before bed.
• Journaling, list-making, or goal visualization before bed.
• Only wearing clothes that make me feel good and look good.

I can't stress how exciting it is to know other people are noticing my efforts to be more fit. It's especially nice considering I haven't drastically changed my eating habits (other than the above) basically because I'm afraid to jeopardize my milk supply.

That said, there are some things I know I still need to work on. From what I've noticed in my food/activity logging I could:

1. Drink more water (I never seem to drink enough!).
2. Substitute more simple carbs with complex ones (It's my biggest edible weakness.).
3. Increase my steps by marching/jogging in place while writing (Some authors do it, why not me?).
4. Eat more vegetables (duh!).
5. Eat more whole fruit (duh, again!).

My biggest issue (and room for healthy growth) is probably points 4 and 5. When it comes to fruit and veggies, I get bored of the same raw things over and over. I need some good easy snacks that give me variety in both type of food and flavor (I also need lunches and breakfasts that include such things.). I feel like making that change would really help push my health and energy to a whole new level (get it?).

So, progress? Definitely. Is there further to go? You bet (including getting the hubby involved).

How is your postpartum fitness going? What milestones have you noticed? Leave a comment below!

Frustrations

Sometimes Kiddo will play and reach an impasse. There will be something he can't quite do, but wants to. He knows how it needs to be done, he just doesn't have the skills yet. The result is a bit of a baby tantrum.

He cries. He whines. He whimpers. He wails.

The current saving grace from this is distraction, but sometimes there's no distraction big enough.

I know how he feels. I've never been very physically coordinated. Gym class was a personal horror for me through much of my public education. This was mostly because I understood the mechanics of the activities, I just couldn't get my body to do them.

Now I empathize with Kiddo's frustration in a different way. I see the things I want to get done and recognize I have only a fraction of the time needed to do them. I literally cannot do them all. I have to prioritize. I have to compromise. I have to accept the fact that certain parts of my life have to be placed on the back burner or tabled permanently.

It's a difficult thing to accept, especially in the face of my ambitions.

So when I see Kiddo crying because he doesn't have the basic skills to put his shapes into the sorter or successfully stack the pieces of his stacking toy, I feel for him. Fortunately, there will come a time in the near future when he can do these things. I only hope the same can be said for myself.

Happy Easter!

Just wanted to share a few awesome moments from Kiddo's first Easter.

Have a wonderful holiday and I wish it full of the kind of joy Elmo wrapping paper brought to ours (paper is better than toys apparently).

Becoming Daddy: Going from Awkward to Awesome

at church, ~3 months

Even though we're coming up on Easter and Mothers' Day, I couldn't wait to share about Kiddo and his daddy. Whenever Christian is around these days, he always makes a big effort to spend as much time with his son as possible. He's confident as he plays, bathes, and changes diapers with the best of them. But it wasn't always this way.

When Kiddo was born, Christian was in awe just as he should be, but he wasn't exactly comfortable holding his fragile son.

just 5 days old and loving it?

He thought he was going to break him. When he walked carrying Kiddo, he'd hold him out in two arms like I imagine people would to offer ancient sacrifices at the temple or something. It was awkward and uncomfortable.

What made it more difficult was the fact that newborn babies only want their mamas. Actually, several month old babies only want their mamas. Christian felt useless because I was the only person who could calm Kiddo (at night I still am... unfortunately).

a few weeks old looking at the light

Then as Kiddo got older and Christian learned how he wanted to be a dad, he started to get more comfortable. He wouldn't just change diapers, he started to read stories. He wouldn't just talk to Kiddo about motorcycle parts, but he would play games a baby would play. And something else happened. Kiddo started requesting time with his daddy.

shopping and playing

He reaches for his dad and giggles and waves his arms in excitement when Christian comes into view. Last Wednesday he even said "dada" when in Christian's arms. It was his third word after "hi" and "hello" (at least that he recognizes the meaning when he says it). Needless to say, Christian had an ear to ear grin on his face at that one.

almost 7 months and super cool

Christian really has become an incredibly present and proactive daddy. The result is a clear bond which is such a joy to watch. While Christian doesn't throw Kiddo into the air, they do play games together and Christian comforts our baby just as much as I do.

Kiddo just loves his daddy. :-)

It's a beautiful thing and I wouldn't have it any other way.

52 Lists to Prepare for Baby

I am sooo pleased to announce my newest addition to the Alexis Donkin library and the first book in the Raising An Alien collection, 52 Lists from Pregnant to Parent. It is available for pre-order and sample downloads NOW at Smashwords (and soon outlets like Amazon, Apple, and Barnes & Noble)! The book will be available for purchase on April 30 (which still gives you lots of time before Mothers' Day).

Okay, now that the obligatory salesy bit is out of the way, I can explain why I did this (again?). I really felt overwhelmed by all the information out in the world about pregnancy, birth, and new parenting. There's a lot of crap out there, and most of it doesn't get down to the nitty gritty.

People talk a lot about feeling or thinking about things, but rarely give practical advice - or if they do, it feels so far afield and foreign to real life, that it's actually impractical advice.

I can't stand it.

So I thought I would be very straightforward. I thought I would put together a resource library that was fun, easy, no-nonsense, and practical (based on the ridiculous reading I've done as well as a whole lot of anecdotal support). Women and families get the short end of the stick a lot of the time. Why not have some resources that make things easier and more fun? This is the first book to come out of that goal (with two very fast on its heels).

I haven't really promoted the book except for an earlier post (and this one). There were some issues with my first file that I uploaded to Smashwords but it was hanging out there for people to check out - quietly - and without any push, there have been some samples of the book. I may have hit on something. We'll see. But that really doesn't matter. If one person finds it helpful, I'll feel like I did a good thing. :-)

How to Workout With a Baby

Must lift weights! (wikipedia)

The baby is sleeping like a rock so I thought I'd take advantage of the time and pump out a few different posts that have been floating around my head. The first of course, is the one that you've been waiting for.

It's been a week and a half since I began working out in earnest. I'm using the Body Revolution program by Jillian Michaels.

I know. Whatever you have running through your head right now about Ms. Michaels, just...stop it. I know people have mixed feelings about her, and frankly I wasn't sure what to think. The reason I even chose the program in the first place was because of the time required and her reputation. The reason I came across it at all was because of the time of each workout.

30 minutes.

That's it.

Okay - trying to balance an overactive baby and my writing career while working out? 20-30 minutes is really all I have to spare. So, yes! I'll commit to that!

And to be fair, I like Jillian. She feels real to me and she gives explicit pointers on form, which is really helpful and atypical of workout DVDs in my experience.

Kiddo is going through separation anxiety these days (and now crawling), which means I had to figure out how to workout and get a shower when no one was around to help me. It's not always an ideal situation, but here's how it works:

1. Kiddo goes in pack n' play and is immediately distracted by toys.
2. I change into workout clothes.
3. I begin workout.
4. During workout I periodically interact with Kiddo (p.s. he's graduated to a capital letter...sue me).
5. I make sure he's occupied, then I race to the bathroom and get the coldest speed shower ever (approximately 4 minutes long - including washing my crazy thick hair using all-in-one shampoo-conditioner). By the end of my shower, Kiddo is usually fussing in the pack n' play, but not always. Typically it is diaper changing time however... 
6. So I spray myself with sunblock and speed dress while talking to Kiddo the entire time. 
7. Then I change his diaper and nurse.

Less than 10 steps seems alright...the whole process takes less than an hour. And it is a process.

As to how it's changing my body? Well that's another post. :-)

Unexpected Symptoms: Pregnancy

my fav preggers pic

The second book in the Raising An Alien series is a natural extension of the discoveries I made during my pregnancy.

I couldn't believe how many symptoms, or strange manifestations of even common symptoms, were discussed so rarely or not at all. It amazed me especially considering how many ridiculous websites, magazines and books are out there about pregnancy.

You'd think they would have covered this stuff, but no.

Really. It's crazypants.

So instead of keeping these things to myself, or making them really difficult to find in a blog archive (of which I only included some of the unexpected symptoms, certainly not all) I decided I would compile them into a book, Unexpected Symptoms: Pregnancy. Some of the chapters draw on posts I made here, with significant (or not so significant) tweaks. Others are completely new.

The goal is to share my experience of these weird symptoms with other women who find themselves in similar situations. We shouldn't feel alone in these strange experiences and it's always reassuring to find that someone else has had the same or at least a similar experience.

It's not a long book, but it is informative with good chapter lengths for the busy or extremely exhausted pregnant lady. The goal is to have it published soon after the 52 Lists book either the last week in April or the first week in May (another mommy-to-be Mothers' Day gift perhaps???).

What were some of your unexpected pregnancy symptoms? Please share them below! I'd love to read some of your experiences!

20 Baby Rules

There are rules for being around babies. I know, I know. You know someone with one and so you know how you're supposed to act.  But seriously, most single and coupled people don't know these things. If you have a baby yourself, you may want to share the rules with them.

Rule #1: Babies come first. Period. All other rules are derived from this one.

Rule #2: You do not make loud noise or listen to music or speak loudly when a baby is sleeping. If they don't get their sleep, they will go banshee. Their parents will turn zombie and eat your brains.

Rule #3: You do not smoke around babies. You do not bring babies into an area where there has been smoking. Smoke particles stay on furniture and fabric. If you smoke, wash your face and hands and change your shirt before handling baby.

Rule #4: Babies have routines. Don't mess with the routine. They will go banshee.

Rule #5: If you distract baby with something, it better be something they can play with like a stuffed animal or age appropriate toy, not a beer bottle cap or metal butter knife. If they can't have this interesting thing, they will go banshee.

Rule #6: Each baby is unique. Their personalities are their own. They won't definitely do things because they are a girl or a boy, they do things because that is who they are.

Rule #7: You don't talk about sex, someone's mother, drugs, or profusely curse around baby. You don't know how old that kid is and he could repeat something he hears. His mom will go banshee.

Rule #8: Do not feed a baby anything without her parent's permission. Pediatrics is changing all the time, you don't know what is appropriate for their age, and you don't know if they have allergies. They could end up in the hospital if you feed them something without permission.

Rule #9: Babies are precious. Do not pretend to drop them or try to hold them one-handed. You could actually drop them. They could end up in the hospital. Their mom will go banshee and their dad will beat you.

Rule #10: Babies change their parents' schedules. There's no such thing as going out with friends past 9 o'clock. There's no such thing as drinking excessively. Don't ask them to go out and do things like that. They can't and they don't really want to.

Rule #11: Babies communicate through crying. They can't talk, so no, parents can't shut their babies up until they figure out what's wrong.

Rule #12: Babies need everything and the kitchen sink whenever they go anywhere. That takes a long time to collect and pack. Chances are, they'll be late going everywhere so give the family a break.

Rule #13: Babies are like dogs and enjoy things that shine, squeak, rattle, roll, and  are chewable. Like dogs, they will find the things that are dirty or gross and get it all over. They'll also find the things they shouldn't mess with, and they'll mess with them. Don't expect them to ignore that fancy vase you left out!

Rule #14: Babies love their mamas. They didn't start crying because you scared them. They started crying because you're not mama.

Rule #15: If you don't have kids, don't tell a mother how to raise her baby. You don't know the baby. You don't know how mom, dad and baby function as a family. You don't know what it's like to have kids. She will probably go banshee.

Rule #16: Don't take a baby to a place where they could get hurt. That includes doing anything that could poke, burn, cut, crush, scrape, or conk baby. It doesn't matter how advanced you think your friend's baby is. They're not advanced enough to keep from getting hurt. Some adults still aren't - that's why Darwin Awards exist. Just saying.

Rule #17: Don't buy baby a toy that lights up and makes music or sounds without vetting it first. That junk gets annoying real fast. Ever work retail at Christmas? Yeah. Like that.

Rule #18:  Babies change every week, every minute, and every second. You might think you know what your friend's baby likes, but don't be hurt when they don't like it two weeks later. It happens. It's not about you. It's about growing.

Rule #19: Even if parents don't ask for help, or say they don't need help, they still probably do. You're being a good person by holding the door, changing a diaper, sweeping the floor, or bringing them a sandwich.

Rule #20: Parents are so concerned about baby's needs, they probably haven't worried about dusting, vacuuming, or mopping. They're happy if they have clean underwear and hair. Don't make comments about their house or their appearance unless you're genuinely impressed.

Do you have any rules you wish people followed? Share them below!

A Tool For New Parents: "52 Lists From Pregnant to Parent"

What do you really need?

I'm really excited about the first two books I'm publishing this year (you can read more about my publishing plan here) and I think you will too.
In an effort to give some advanced notice about the first one, I thought I'd post a little bit about it here.

One of the things I noticed when I was pregnant was the ridiculous amount of literature out there about pregnancy. There are a lot of books, articles, websites, and films about pregnancy but that made things even more difficult.

I found myself wading through things asking questions like: What should I bring to the birth center? What is normal at this point? What should I have in my diaper bag? What books should I buy? What should I know about after? Should I get any special furniture?

And everywhere I looked there were answers to the questions, if I could find them between the millions of lines of pointless text. In short, it was a nerve-wracking scavenger hunt.

And then it hit me; wouldn't it be wonderful if all these lists were in a single place? I would have bought that! So I put together my soon to be published book (the first Raising An Alien book) called 52 Lists from Pregnant to Parent. Some of them are there to help you laugh, others to help you get through the day. No matter what, I know both new and experienced moms (and dads and even grandparents!) will appreciate these lists in ONE PLACE easily checked on their ereader of choice.

This lovely jewel will be published by April 30 and is a great gift for moms-to-be (a little Mothers' Day gift anyone?), especially when paired with the second and or third book in the Raising An Alien collection (more to come on those soon!).

What things did you wish you'd known during pregnancy? What tools do you wish you'd had? Leave your thoughts below!