My First Week or After Birth Secrets

Well, I've been a mom for almost a week. Already there have been some challenges, mostly because I wasn't prepared for afterbirth mayhem.

I say this because a lot of people focus on the birth as the big deal - and it is. Don't get me wrong. Birth is a big deal. However the birth is a short time compared to everything that comes after. With that in mind, let's take a look at what after actually means.

Firstly, newborns are pretty great. They're cute and have only a few needs. As long as you can take care of those needs, you're golden. That means changing diapers and feeding about every other hour. Changing diapers is actually the easy part. Feeding is much more complicated.

Well, if you're formula feeding then I guess it would be pretty easy. Breast-feeding is more complex. Like all things, breast-feeding is a process. What they don't tell you (they being pretty much everyone) is the first few days *hurt.* You and baby are trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. In the mean time your breasts become engorged. So for a day or two, maybe right after you felt like you caught your stride, baby has trouble latching on and your breasts feel like rocks that are capable of popping. Strangely, the only relief is not from expressing milk or even ice packs. No - cabbage leaves on the boob for 20 minutes 3 times a day is what makes this bearable (Who thought of this originally? I don't know but it makes as much sense as the guy who ate lobster for the first time.).

Now something that can add even more fun to the mix is loss of birth weight in the baby. In our case, kiddo lost more than 10% in just a day! I blame this on the obscene amount of poop coming out of this kid and the fact that colostrum (first milk) just wasn't enough calories. This meant we had to supplement for about a day until my mature milk came in. Luckily I had access to an overproducer of breastmilk through the birth center so we didn't use any formula. Later that night my milk came in and by Friday kiddo had gained back 5 ounces.

Did I mention I feed this kid a ridiculous amount? He likes to eat...more than the average newborn (or so I've been told).

By the time mature milk comes in, breast-feeding is what people tell you it is - all unicorns and rainbows. It feels nice and it's very much bonding time for mom and baby. So feeding kiddo for hours on end isn't such a "chore" so much as a gift.

As for the rest of mom's body, things are a little more uncomfortable. The first few days after birth are sore. Arms, legs, back, and of course the entire crotch are sore. This is true even with the intense numbing that happens with the trauma of birth (But don't worry - that numbing disappears along with the swelling. Yes, more discomfort is around the corner!).

Even if you aren't lucky enough to have tearing like mine, walking, sitting, and laying down (or standing up) are difficult. If you do have tearing, then everything is exponentially harder as you aren't allowed to sit normally for fear of preventing healing or damaging stitches.

Some women have trouble with dizziness which means your partner (or someone else) has to watch you take your showers to make sure you don't fall when exposed to warm water.

Your belly is gelatinous (okay, not quite that bad, but it was seriously stretched! It takes a while to get back to normal!) but it is a lot smaller. You did just lose a bunch of weight in a short time (Don't ask me how much I've lost. I am refusing to look at the scale right now.). However, the edema you acquired is still hanging on and keeping that number artificially inflated. I can still play the putty game with the top of my feet, for example.

Oh...and we can't forget lochia! That's the best kept secret. Remember months without your period? It was all being stored up for this time! Basically the body is expelling one third of it's blood (all the extra blood used during pregnancy) over the course of the 2 - 6 weeks after birth. It's actually not as bad as it sounds, but it is something you need to be prepared for.

Now...are you scared (Insert: evil laugh and/or grin)?

I guess people don't talk about these things because they don't want you to freak out. But for me, I wish I'd have known so I could prepare myself a little better for this first week at least. These things are normal and it feels better for me to know what is normal, even if it isn't pretty, neat, or easy. This time of discomfort and awkwardness doesn't last forever. Every time I look over at my baby I forget all these things because he is so precious and of course I would go through the deepest pits of Hell for this wriggle monster. So what's a little bleeding? What's a little soreness? I would kill to protect him. I would die to protect him. But that's what it means to be a mother.