How To Clean Poop Off of Everything

NOTE: This post is only for those who have the stomach for such things. There are no graphic pictures, but there are descriptions.

Up the back.
Up the shirt.
Down the pants.
On the legs.
On the arms.
Between the fingers.
Under the nails.
On the face.
All over the toys.
All over the pack n' play.

Good Morning Mom!

It's amazing what a little solid food will do to a child's bowels. Something that was manageable and contained turns into a wild chimpanzee display. That said, usually when you catch a dirty diaper early, it doesn't turn out this way.

It's probably my fault. It started last night. Kiddo is teething throughout his mouth (molars popping through- it's crazy in there!). He likes to nurse to sleep but was biting at every latch. Needless to say, he didn't fall asleep until 11. Then in the middle of the night he woke up whimpering and fussing and unable to latch (biting again). With some pain meds and a little rocking he fell back asleep. Mom didn't sleep as easily.

Well 7 AM came around. Kiddo nursed and then was AWAKE. Usually he'll play in his pack n' play for 30 to 45 minutes, so sleepy as I was, I put him in there. I probably can't do that any more...

Then Christian got up, got ready for work, and left. Kiddo played. I got to sleep.

Suddenly I heard a little whimper. Then another. Then it was steady whimpering. Then the smell wafted over.

Oh. My. God. NOOOOOOOOoooo!

Me covered in poop? Never!

I jumped up and saw it - poop EVERYWHERE. I'd experienced spectacular pooping escapades in Kiddo's newborn days, but this was a whole new level. This was peanut butter poop, as they call it. This was half solid ick all over his toys that couldn't be submerged in water. This was all over the pack n' play that we are borrowing! Oh god!

I lifted my poopy baby out of the mess and heard my saving grace. Someone was downstairs. Hallelujah! My dad hadn't left the house yet. I called for him and we proceeded to pry off the poop pajamas and hose baby down in cold water (the heater is slow). The result? Horrible-crying rinse down. It took care of the worst, but Kiddo still needed a real bath.

Then I got to work on the toys. First I isolated the clean ones (believe it or not there were some). I then picked through the items that could be washed in the machine and those that had to be done by hand. We started a load in the machine (play intended) and I scrubbed the goopy toys.

Next we had to get the pack n' play. The sides were clean except for an errant spot. That was easy peasy cleaning with some baby wipes. The mattress on the other hand, was a process. First I cleaned it with baby wipes, but it still needed work. My dad took soap and water and gave it a good scrub down. It currently resides on the balcony in the sun.

After all this, it was time for Kiddo's second bath. It went much better - kitchen sink as usual, warm, and with toys. He was a happy guy up until I got his diaper on. That was when he realized he was hungry and tired. He nursed, then granddad held him, and I got a shower (Who knows if poop splattered on my nightgown?!).

Now the poop monster is sleeping peacefully.

Today I'm not working out and I probably will worry about my wordcount goal tomorrow. It's past 10 and I haven't had my coffee yet.

Oh the joys of parenting!

What are your poop battle stories? I'd love to know how you dealt with the icky nasty mess! Leave a comment below!

Projectile Poop - The Myth is Real!

I'm not putting any pictures...or video for this post. Seriously. You need to be able to eat later.

My dad says the scariest words in the English language are "projectile poop." I'm not sure if they're the scariest but they're certainly up there. There's nothing like being startled by a 9 lb wonder child jettisoning his poo through the air on to his surroundings in a great farty burst.

The first time this happened my parents were still here. My kid's poop went about 2 feet and landed on my poor father (who was attempting to change kiddo at the time) and the cement floor. In some ways that was a blessing. My dad just got it on his arm, which along with the cement floor, was easy to clean.

We were not so lucky last night.

Last night kiddo had already filled his diaper and needed to be changed. As I mentioned in a previous post, we're battling the chemical burns of diaper rash and so it's even more important to change soiled diapers immediately. The problem arises when the kiddo poops again. Breastfed infants poop a lot. It's just part of the deal...which of course means just as many diaper changes...and the possibility of kiddo pooping while being changed.

So I took off his diaper and began cleaning his tiny newborn bum. Then, just as I went for one more wipe, I heard the horrible farting sound that begins just before kiddo poops. In less than a second I jumped and screamed as kiddo's yellow feces flew through the air in a 4 foot arc across the room and sailed miraculously in the garbage can, with only minimal casualties.

Our carpet wasn't spared. Nor was our flat sheet...or my arm...or Christian's leg.

It was a poop spectacular. Really. Spectacular.

Diaper changes might need safety goggles, aprons, and gloves. Possibly a hazmat suit. Just saying. This is for real. You've been warned!

Do you have any diaper changing adventures? Share them below!