Happy Birthday Baby! A First Year Retrospective

It's been a year. I've been a mom for a year. It seems crazy. I mean, I feel like yesterday I gave birth (Okay, well maybe not yesterday. You know, I can sit down comfortably and I'm not using a sitz bath...thank GOD!) and now Kiddo is threatening to walk!

My smooshy newborn love

It's pretty wild that a year go, Kiddo was a red, smoosh-faced sleepy, poopy, floppy newborn. This is especially wild considering that now he has some words, plays jokes, chases, laughs, sings, and dances (with help). It's crazy that he can climb up and down stairs, pets Java the Cat when he's sleepy, and cuddles his stuffed animals that he makes babble. It's crazy that he poses for pictures.

It's been a crazy year. Our family has suffered a lot during Kiddo's first year of life. We've experienced tremendous financial hardship (and we're still working to remove that burden). We sacrificed independence and pride and moved in with my parents. I underwent a lot of personal exploration and development, which also forced a lot of issues within my marriage which had been quietly festering. These things forced Christian to confront his choice of profession (and the resulting difficulties), as well as his role as husband and father.

My active charming 1 year wonder

Meanwhile, Kiddo was largely unaware of these things. He, despite everything, grew and even thrived. Everywhere we go, people comment on his charming nature. They adore his sweet smiles, waves, singing, and even his more spectacular antics (more about those in subsequent posts).

While this year has been difficult, it was also full of joy, wonder, and laughter. Kiddo is an amazing and unusual kid who prefers vegetables to fruit, syncopated rhythms, and entertaining anyone who is wiling to watch him for longer than 2 seconds. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Happy Birthday Baby! We love you so much.

6 Week Giant

Remember how I wasn't sure if kiddo was a giant? Well, he is. Today at our final postpartum appointment at the birth center we weighed him. Keep in mind he's exactly 6 weeks. Keep in mind the average - the average - breastfed baby gains 5-7 ounces per week...

13 lbs 5 oz.

Seriously.

Who needs free weights?

Remember how much he was at birth? 9 lbs 8 oz. Then at the first (or was it second? It was the first week anyway!) appointment he actually lost 10% of his birth weight and was 8 lbs 9 oz...sooo he's gained over 4 lbs since that time.

F-O-U-R POUNDS!

The average baby puts on about T-W-O by their 6 week mark. 2. That's it. Just 2.

It would appear that kiddo will stay in the 90th percentile and I'm crossing my fingers for athletic scholarships in his future.

It could happen. Christian's family does that sort of thing, and I was always really good at school. The combo seems likely. So Ivy League it is? Crossies!

How to Cope with The Fussy Six Week Baby

I knew it would happen eventually. I knew at some point kiddo would go from being the angelic darling that he's been for the past month and a half and turn into the fussy hellish imp that all babies become at some point during infancy.

Yes, we reached the six week mark.

For some reason babies start to turn around 5 weeks old. They become "fussy." Well, not just fussy. They begin to "cry excessively." Usually they do this during the late afternoon and early evening. If you're lucky like us, the baby does this from about 7 pm to 11 pm, and likely starts even earlier.

Well, there are strategies, tactics if you will, for dealing with this emerging imp.

First, collect your arsenal. This should include the following:

• Your diaper changing stuff
• Feeding paraphernalia
• A burp cloth
• A pacifier
• A bouncer/swing
• A baby carrier (sling, K'tan, etc)
• A glass of water
• A swaddling blanket
• A car & carseat

Okay. Ready? Here's the process:

1. First check his (I've got a son so I'm sticking to male pronouns. Deal.) diaper. If dirty or wet, change him. Still crying? Go on to 2.
2. Feed him. Still crying? Go to 3.
3. Burp him. Make sure to continue burping until you get a few good burps (and possibly curdy spit-up all over your shoulder/burp cloth). Still crying? Continue on!
4. Give him a pacifier. I've heard if a baby spits it out you're supposed to pull on it and they'll latch tighter but this trick has NEVER worked for us...so if the plug comes out, give it a try and let me know how it goes. Still crying? Paci only a temporary fix? Let's try something else!
5. Set him in the bouncer! This gives your arms and back a break too. Not working out? We've got some more options!
6. Sometimes carrying a baby works better than putting them in a bouncer (the whole heartbeat, warmth thing in addition to movement). Kiddo usually goes right to sleep in our K'tan. If this doesn't work you may need to combine tactics...
7. Make a loud shushing noise right in his ear or sing a lullaby (this is why you need the water)! Sometimes babies need the noise combined with some of these other options (for example the paci and the carrier). Man if this doesn't work you better brush up on tucking baby in!
8. Swaddling REALLY works well. This puts kiddo to sleep in a few minutes. Combine it with a paci and you've got a winning combination. But if this doesn't work then...
9. You better go for a drive.

These are tactics I've learned from reading books like Happiest Baby on the Block and Dr. Sears' The Baby Book as well as blogs. I've heard them repeated by moms and grandmas regularly. And then of course, I've used them myself and seen them work.

They do work for the typical fussy six week old baby. They will not work on a baby that has something medically wrong (dairy sensitivity, GERD, etc). Of course, if these things aren't working or you're at your wits end - send in the cavalry. I've had to take a break myself. I won't be the last parent to do so. Don't be afraid to call for back up (like grandma or the pediatrician). There is definitely a time and a place!

For now I'm going to enjoy a few more hours of relative calm before the fussy imp makes his appearance...and you should too!

Have you tried these tactics? What worked best for you? Leave a comment down below!

Alien, Giant, or Super Baby?

My kid is too big. I mean really.

At his second well baby visit we discovered he'd gained 9 oz in 4 days (since he was weighed at the midwife postpartum visit). He's only worn 3 month size since he was born, though he might have gotten away with newborn depending on the make...maybe...probably not.

Actually...not.

I discovered today that he is too long for his 3 month sized sleepers. Thankfully I only have one that is a footie sleeper. The other one is open at the ankles, so he might be able to wear it a little longer. I'm crossing my fingers because they're so darn cute but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Because kiddo is so long, I decided to take out some of the 3-6 month sized sleepers that we have. They look a little too long off...but on? My guess is he'll fill them out more than I think.

And that's just the sleepers.

When kiddo was born he was swimming in the 3 month sized onesies by most companies. The only one that seemed to fit alright was Gerber. So my mother, awesome woman that she is, bought us some more Gerber onesies. And of course now I can barely get them over his head or pulled down around his middle. Yes, I think I have to retire that set.

Sigh.

This kid is just shy of 6 weeks old and he's already grown out of some 3 month sized clothes (alright...probably the rest of them are just around the corner)! Thankfully my family and friends supplied me with a ton of 6 month sized clothes...so I'm hoping that will carry me to the 3 month mark...but once I get to 9 and 12 months, I'm basically screwed (Christmas anybody?). I have a much smaller stash of clothes for that size...and my guess is kiddo is going to run into that size by February.

My question is now, is kiddo an alien, a giant, or a superbaby? I'm just not sure. Maybe all three? I think I may need to buy stock in Trader Joe's or something.

Four Week Movement

Well I survived my first week at home alone with a newborn. Yay! I'm not a complete maternal failure (just kidding - I never thought that)! Now kiddo is 4 weeks old and it seems his systems have started to show a daily rhythm (or at least, I have discovered one). I'm still trying to figure out a routine for everything (not a schedule but a routine). Then again, kiddo changes so much from one week to the next (one minute to the next, more like!) that I really can only wait for a routine to be revealed and hope it lasts for longer than a day.

Who knew motherhood required you to be like Sherlock Holmes? It was a complete surprise to me!

And so while we do this, me trying to solve the puzzle of my son and him innocently teaching me, our family came to another important conclusion.

We're moving.

The money isn't here. The numbers were crunched and it's a go. We turned in our notice to our landlord. I talked to my parents and they've started getting a room ready for us.

A room.

It's a little depressing to go from some measure of independence to absolute dependence again. I'm discovering how to be a parent while my parents are once again coming to my rescue (I should also mention my in-laws volunteered to do the same thing, but our cat was the real kicker - the in-laws' place is not indoor cat friendly.). It's a humbling experience. This whole summer has been a humbling experience.

More than ever I want to have my own situation - pull myself up by my bootstraps so to speak (I mean, I'm American. We do that sort of thing.). And more than ever I'm incapable of being independent. Admittedly, parts of this are okay. I like the idea of family being around to help out with kiddo. Help with a young baby is a real luxury that most people don't have.

Also, I'm excited about being near the ocean, being able to do music with my dad, and feeling comfortable enough to walk around by myself (not something I feel comfortable doing in most places in Oakland). I like the idea of not worrying my things will be stolen from my front stoop (We've had something stolen from us at least 6 times in the 1.5 yrs we've lived in our Jingletown loft.).

Can you tell I'm over Oakland?

I mean, it's clearly time to move. No question. And hopefully new opportunities will abound in this change. At least it will give us the security we need in order to explore options without having to worry about where we'll sleep or what we'll eat. And maybe that's the intention.

In the mean time, I'm going to enjoy learning more about kiddo. I'm not going to worry too much about things. I'm going to keep my mind open to possibilities.

Oh, and I'll pray. Definitely that.

Projectile Poop - The Myth is Real!

I'm not putting any pictures...or video for this post. Seriously. You need to be able to eat later.

My dad says the scariest words in the English language are "projectile poop." I'm not sure if they're the scariest but they're certainly up there. There's nothing like being startled by a 9 lb wonder child jettisoning his poo through the air on to his surroundings in a great farty burst.

The first time this happened my parents were still here. My kid's poop went about 2 feet and landed on my poor father (who was attempting to change kiddo at the time) and the cement floor. In some ways that was a blessing. My dad just got it on his arm, which along with the cement floor, was easy to clean.

We were not so lucky last night.

Last night kiddo had already filled his diaper and needed to be changed. As I mentioned in a previous post, we're battling the chemical burns of diaper rash and so it's even more important to change soiled diapers immediately. The problem arises when the kiddo poops again. Breastfed infants poop a lot. It's just part of the deal...which of course means just as many diaper changes...and the possibility of kiddo pooping while being changed.

So I took off his diaper and began cleaning his tiny newborn bum. Then, just as I went for one more wipe, I heard the horrible farting sound that begins just before kiddo poops. In less than a second I jumped and screamed as kiddo's yellow feces flew through the air in a 4 foot arc across the room and sailed miraculously in the garbage can, with only minimal casualties.

Our carpet wasn't spared. Nor was our flat sheet...or my arm...or Christian's leg.

It was a poop spectacular. Really. Spectacular.

Diaper changes might need safety goggles, aprons, and gloves. Possibly a hazmat suit. Just saying. This is for real. You've been warned!

Do you have any diaper changing adventures? Share them below!

11 Changes With My 2 Week Old

Well, kiddo is 2 weeks old. I'm in a very different place than I was even a week ago. I feel like a lot has happened in even one week (this is going to become a regular thing for a while, I'm sure). Let's review last week's changes:

1. I can now walk. Really. My tearing is well on its way to being healed. I'm even okay to do some light exercise (for which I am extremely grateful as I only lost 20 lbs since the birth and I'd like to begin working the rest off). That said, I am still using my Snoogle rolled up into a donut shape while sitting on the couch. Baby steps. *grin*
2. Kiddo is displaying stupidly advanced development. He regularly holds his head up like a 2-3 month old and rolls over at least once a day now. He's tried to crawl twice - which thankfully is prevented by the fact that his upper body isn't anywhere near being able to support his weight.
3. My swollen feet are no longer swollen! My arms aren't swollen. My legs aren't swollen! I actually look nearly normal (at least with my clothes on). Granted, there is that excess weight I'm harboring...and I still have fatter ankles than I did before getting pregnant, but I am transforming to something close to my former self.
4. My hair has not fallen out yet. In fact, it's still stupidly thick...and I feel ambivalent about this.
5. Kiddo has a case of newborn acne. It's not that bad, but it is kind of weird. It really kicked in within the last week. So far he's not displaying any signs of cradle cap, but I've read that can develop anywhere between 2 weeks and 3 months.
6. Kiddo is increasingly more alert every day. He interacts with people in ways other than looking for food. He smiles in his sleep more and more. He listens to music and stories carefully and loves looking out the window of the car when he gets to go on rare rides.
7. I'm starting to cherish alone time, even if it's just to brush my teeth or inspect my eyebrows. Having only 2 rooms makes it hard to feel like I get that requisite alone time. Nursing kiddo constantly makes it hard too.
8. I've begun having more crying sessions. Maybe once a day. Generally at night. I think this is because my placenta capsules reach the end of their effectiveness sometime then...or because I'm exhausted...or both. Not really sure. All I know is time alone just sitting, a shower, or some writing is enough to set me back on the path of good mothering.
9. The above said, I still could kiss kiddo all the time. Or stroke him. Or snuggle him. I just adore this little wriggling bundle. And if he's uncomfortable, it breaks my heart until I can make it better.
10. Apparently kiddo stops crying as soon as he's in my arms. He calms down almost instantly, even if he's upset. He knows I'll do whatever I can to rectify the situation, and more often than not I do. I noticed this hardcore after his bath last night (which he did not like at all!). As soon as he was in my arms the wailing ceased. He didn't need to eat or anything. He just needed his mommy. The knowledge brought a tear to my eye and a smile to my face.
11. Today kiddo actually started rooting (as though he wanted to eat) and crying as might happen when he's hungry. Christian brought him to me and he calmed immediately though he had no interest in eating whatsoever. He has already associated me with food, and the fact that behaving a certain way will get him to me. He must have heard my voice downstairs and wanted to be near me so he did the things he normally does to be given to his mommy. He lay alertly in my lap for a while before coming remotely close to his hunger cues.

Seeing the changes in myself and in him is a wonder. Every day I become better at doing my job. I feel more competent and capable. Every day he continues to learn and grow. He's already 9 lbs 13 oz and he'll only get bigger. He's alert so much more than even a week ago, and he's only going to become increasingly aware of his surroundings. It's wild. I love it.

My Baby is an Alien Superhero

"This is my son, Kal-El."

That's probably what I should be saying when people meet kiddo. Instead I picked a completely non-superhero name (Yes, it was inspired by a prince of Amber, but still...not a superhero!).

Why should kiddo have a superhero name? Well..because he's a super baby. I say this being completely objective, and not letting my motherly pride taint my description. If anything, his actions in his almost 2 weeks of life scare me.

At 9 days old this kid rolled over. I have 2 additional witnesses to this crazy act. He shouldn't be doing that until 4 months. He's been smiling since about 4 days old. He's been sucking on his hand/fingers since he popped out. Did I mention that he could hold his head up by 5 days old? Yeah...that's something he shouldn't have been able to do until like a month or more old.

This kid is on the fast track.

Last night he not only rolled over, but if his arm hadn't gotten caught under him, I think that kid would have started crawling. Believe me...I wouldn't say this unless it was true. I'm not being hyperbolic here. Christian swears he's trying to copy sounds and faces of other people. I'm not sure on that one, but I know when I copy him, he stops to consider what is happening and tries to change what he does with his mouth and the noises he's making...so maybe that's happening too?

Any way I look at it, it's scary. It's scary because it looks like kiddo is going to need a lot of stimulation as he gets older to stave off boredom. He's going to need challenging toys that allow him to explore his environment and flex his mental muscles. Puzzles are going to be our new best friend. And so are blocks. I'm going to have to try to figure out how to expose him to art and music in age appropriate ways (Can you tell I've been reading about this stuff?). I think chess is very much on the docket (Christian will be so pleased.). School seems so far away at 5 years, but at the same time, if kiddo keeps on this fast track, it's something Christian and I will need to plan for because kiddo may be too advanced for it to work well for him.

Of course, I could be getting ahead of myself. I could be. But my gut says babies don't crawl after a few weeks of life. That's unusual. And of course there's more helpful info out there on delayed milestones than there is for advanced milestone achievement.

So...I'm sort of flying blind here, with my alien super baby in tow. And even though the prospect of trying to keep up with his speedy development is a little scary, it's also an exciting challenge. And I'll just keep his crazy achievement record away from moms who are worried about delayed development...I mean, assuming it continues. But, I expect it will. I mean, I was advanced with language and art, so why not kiddo be advanced physically? Seems just as likely.

I just hope he doesn't start walking by 6 months. I don't know if I'll be able to keep up!

The 7 Best Things About Newborns

In the first week of being a mother I've discovered all kinds of things about newborns. I hinted I would do this previously, and since I have a few spare minutes... I'll share with you the best things about newborns:

1. Noises - newborns make the funniest sounds. Grunts, whistles, squeaks, squawks, sighs, groans, smacks - you name it, they make it. Surprisingly I also like the cries, in particular the one that sounds like a machine gun - or laughter (depending on the moment).
2. Reflexes - between the "startle" reflex, the iron grip reflex, and the rooting reflex (among others!), a slight touch against a newborn's body can set off any number of automatic fun.
3. Faces - newborns make the most entertaining faces. Grimaces, smiles, smirks, and everything in between has graced kiddo's face in just his first seven days. It's become regular entertainment.
4. Skin - newborn skin is actually the softest thing ever. I didn't know this and considering how much I like soft things, this is a serious win.  Holding kiddo, I find myself stroking whatever limb or cheek is available in absolute awe.
5. Smell - this is one of those things I really didn't expect. All newborns don't smell the same. I mean, a woman's baby will smell the best to her (though probably newborns smell generally good). As such, I find kiddo's smell to be intoxicating. It is really the sweetest thing. The closest approximation is that he smells like baking bread, but sweeter. I could literally smell him all day (Too bad this doesn't last forever!).
6. Potential - I knew this was true intuitively, but actually looking at my son makes it a lot more real. I like the idea of who he could become. And the fun thing is, at this point, he could become anyone. I don't even know what he likes (well, except eating. Kiddo eats an obscene amount.). He could literally become anyone - and that is both terrifying and incredibly exciting.
7. Discovery - along with potential, this one is really exciting. Rather than dreaming up what might be, I like finding out what is. Kiddo is already teaching me about himself and I'm teaching him about me. It's an adventure I'm enjoying every second of.

What are your favorite things about newborns? Leave a comment below!

The Lies People Tell About Newborns

A rare moment of staring

Being a mother of a newborn has been different than what I expected. Really different.

For one, people said I would be exhausted and a zombie and it would be awful. Well, that's just not true. I mean, yes, my sleep schedule has been disrupted. Yes, my sense of time has been disrupted. I don't really keep track of days and times the same way - in some ways I do it better (and in others it all runs together).

Mostly, I just keep track of moments - moments when kiddo is sleeping, eating, crying, making funny faces or wide awake and staring at the world. Days don't seem to matter - only moments.

The second thing that doesn't really work is the whole "first time mom" thing. I was told that first time mothers are sort of crazy - that I would be crazy. I was told that first time mothers are overprotective and hover, and never let their partners do anything.

Well, I love that Christian takes the baby and changes him. I love that he holds him and makes faces at him, and lets me take a rest. I love being able to have a little bit of me time, even as we adjust to our new roommate. I love having my mother-in-law here helping us as we adjust. I feel quite comfortable letting her take him and spend time with him. It lets Christian and I do things that require more than one set of hands.

But then again, I'm also the kind of mom who doesn't cry or get angry when the caregiver does the newborn screening heel prick. In my mind, they're not hurting my baby - they're helping him (and therefore me as his mom). Apparently logic is rare (according to my midwives at least).

People also told us that having a newborn would be stressful and that hearing his cry would be nerve-wracking.

Well, I find insurance to be way more stressful than my baby. In fact, being around him calms me. I'm sure my blood pressure lowers just by having him in my arms. I don't even find his cry upsetting - at least not how other people led me to believe. 

I don't stress when I hear him crying. I don't freak out. I know he's crying for a reason. That makes his cry feel a lot different - as though he's trying to have a conversation. The only time I even get a little frustrated is when I have difficulty figuring out what he needs, and that's something that will resolve as we get to know one another.

Is everything perfect? No. Are we still trying to figure out routines and what works best? Absolutely. Am I positive I'm doing the right thing all the time? Of course not. But I'm also not stressed about fumbling through things.

And really, I kind of love having a newborn...but I think that will be a separate post. :-)