The Lies People Tell About Newborns

A rare moment of staring

Being a mother of a newborn has been different than what I expected. Really different.

For one, people said I would be exhausted and a zombie and it would be awful. Well, that's just not true. I mean, yes, my sleep schedule has been disrupted. Yes, my sense of time has been disrupted. I don't really keep track of days and times the same way - in some ways I do it better (and in others it all runs together).

Mostly, I just keep track of moments - moments when kiddo is sleeping, eating, crying, making funny faces or wide awake and staring at the world. Days don't seem to matter - only moments.

The second thing that doesn't really work is the whole "first time mom" thing. I was told that first time mothers are sort of crazy - that I would be crazy. I was told that first time mothers are overprotective and hover, and never let their partners do anything.

Well, I love that Christian takes the baby and changes him. I love that he holds him and makes faces at him, and lets me take a rest. I love being able to have a little bit of me time, even as we adjust to our new roommate. I love having my mother-in-law here helping us as we adjust. I feel quite comfortable letting her take him and spend time with him. It lets Christian and I do things that require more than one set of hands.

But then again, I'm also the kind of mom who doesn't cry or get angry when the caregiver does the newborn screening heel prick. In my mind, they're not hurting my baby - they're helping him (and therefore me as his mom). Apparently logic is rare (according to my midwives at least).

People also told us that having a newborn would be stressful and that hearing his cry would be nerve-wracking.

Well, I find insurance to be way more stressful than my baby. In fact, being around him calms me. I'm sure my blood pressure lowers just by having him in my arms. I don't even find his cry upsetting - at least not how other people led me to believe. 

I don't stress when I hear him crying. I don't freak out. I know he's crying for a reason. That makes his cry feel a lot different - as though he's trying to have a conversation. The only time I even get a little frustrated is when I have difficulty figuring out what he needs, and that's something that will resolve as we get to know one another.

Is everything perfect? No. Are we still trying to figure out routines and what works best? Absolutely. Am I positive I'm doing the right thing all the time? Of course not. But I'm also not stressed about fumbling through things.

And really, I kind of love having a newborn...but I think that will be a separate post. :-)