10 Cheap Ways to Beat the Heat Prego Style

Sitting on my couch downstairs I listen to the breeze going through the citrus leaves outside my loft and I wish it was cooler. The humidity from living by water is epic, especially when compared to other places in California where the concept of humidity is downright mythical. Here I actually have mosquitoes. I don't know if they exist in certain other parts of the state.

I feel like I'm dying. This level of heat reminds me of when I was first married, during the most ridiculous and mixed up time in my married life - when we first moved to Phoenix AZ.

Now, Phoenicians are good at dealing with heat. They have it down to a science - a very expensive science (think: $300 per month for electricity during the summer) but it works. If you can stay indoors during the season of Hell (which really does exist in Phoenix) then you can live. Of course, Hell lasts from about April through October. We moved there in August.

We moved to a place that didn't have a working fridge or AC unit. Those first months of married life were tough, and largely spent in the comfort of the nearest mall's food court. While I wouldn't wish it on anyone (or care to repeat such a horrid time), it makes me really REALLY glad I'm not pregnant in Phoenix. As it is, with the latest heatwave in Oakland I'm feeling like I'm stewing in my own juices (a novel experience for someone who doesn't really sweat). SO, I thought I would share the tricks I learned to deal with heat while growing up on the East Coast and living in Phoenix without AC (because let's face it, few places in the Bay have AC).

1. Cold showers are the most divine thing in the world. Yes they shock your system for 30 solid seconds, but after that, they are sheer bliss. The feeling lasts for a little while afterwards, especially if you can get dry quickly (living in a humid place you want to have good towels).
2. A strong fan is essential. When you're coated in sweat, nothing feels better than a nice breeze. This might be elementary, but it bears repeating. To up the cool factor, set out a bowl of ice in front of the fan. Oh yeah! That's cold!
3. Drink water. This might seem strange to put on a list of things to help you keep cool, but without water you can sweat too much, dehydrate, and overheat (fainting is just not a good plan). Plus, there's something really wonderful about the feeling of cold water going down your throat on a hot day.
4. To keep the sticky at bay, coat yourself in baby powder. If it really is too humid, this will be a god-send.
5. Loose clothing is amazing. It let's you have a little draft carrying the hot away from your body. I am currently living in dresses and skirts.
6. Take a shower before you sleep and wash your hair. Sleep with wet hair and keep your body temperature cooler for the whole night. Bliss!
7. Park yourself in a pool or the ocean. Even if you haven't gotten your prego suit yet, just get whatever clothes are most comfortable and wade right into that water. Stay there until your skin shrivels. It's worth it. If you don't have access to that, break out the hose - or the sprinkler. No one is too old for this - especially a prego lady in a heatwave.
8. Head to the library. Libraries are free (for now) and generally air conditioned. Plus they have stacks of interesting books to wile away your time learning something when you'd otherwise be wilted in a gutter somewhere.
9. Splurge and go to a movie. Movie theaters are notorious for being freezing (well, unless your pregnant, in which case their temps are just right). That is a solid block of 2 hours in cold heaven!
10. And of course, you can always hang out at the mall. Window shop, buy some lunch, bring a book and your laptop. You could spend the whole day there if necessary.

What are some ways you've learned to beat the heat while being prego? Leave a comment and let me know! I'm always looking for more suggestions!

Urban Living Makes Me Cry

I REALLY want to leave Oakland. It's not that I don't like certain parts of the city, or that I don't like it more than SF or other places in the Bay. It's a pretty cool place actually.

It's just this is the third time I've had something stolen, and the 4th time I've felt violated since living in the loft.

Yes. Someone finally took our moldy crappy Ikea chairs today. Someone took a crappy thing right from the front of our place, stealing from a PREGNANT WOMAN. What a bastard.

I am just so tired of it.

I had a pretty emotionally charged day anyway (for reasons that I cannot explain in such a public forum). Needless to say, several other aspects of my life were impacted in a big way today. I was already feeling pretty high strung. Then I came home from a walk and saw my chairs were missing. I didn't notice them missing before, though I did notice (while I was home which makes me feel even worse) someone hanging out in front of our loft. I thought maybe they were cleaning some of the leaves. My neighbors do that. They're diligent. I can't. I'm pregnant. I think it annoys them, but whatever.

Since this is the third time someone from Oakland has taken something from me, I kind of feel like it's the last straw.

You see, I really don't like concrete. I like trees. I don't like cars. I like walking. I don't like the sound of the freeway or the trains. I like the sound of birds and insects. I like the sound of rushing water and wind rustling leaves. I want space and green, and fresh air that isn't marred by my neighbor's morning cigarette. I'd prefer to have a house out away from it all where if someone steps on my lawn, I can by right shoot them. Keep in mind I'm saying this and I'm a pacifist (I swear!).

I'm trying to stay calm, but I'm just so angry I can't see straight. I want to say:

Dear Chair Thief,

I hope you aren't actually a thief, but a secret do-gooder intent on fixing my moldy Ikea wooden folding chairs and planning on returning them to me in a beautiful state because you know that I am pregnant and can't do it myself. If you are actually a thief, I hope you are properly ashamed of yourself because you didn't take chairs from a ritzy Bohemian trust-fund baby. You took the last 2 outdoor chairs of a pregnant writer lady who is freaking out about how she is going to take care of her family this coming year. So, if you are in fact the thief I think you are (maybe the same one who took the other 2 chairs earlier this year?) then I hope you burn in the special hell reserved for people who take advantage of the less fortunate along with robber barons, white collar criminals, and chair thieves everywhere. 

Sincerely,

Your Neighborhood Pregnant Starving Artist

I sense a Craigslist posting here. Possibly a best of? Yes. Maybe that will brighten my day. Really, anything could make me feel better right now, but especially a bunch of book purchases or confirmed blog tour hosts would turn this frown upside down. Other suggestions are welcome.

Maternity Clothes Are Stupidly Expensive & The Secret Prego Wardrobe

I am in fact wearing a maternity shirt today. However, my skirt I bought when I was NOT pregnant. My underwear is NOT maternity. In fact, I can count on one hand how many "maternity" clothes I own (3 shirts - that's IT!).

Maternity clothes are stupidly expensive. Some of this has to do with the amount of fabric being used. Yes, there is more fabric and therefore the cost goes up. That said, does it need to go up $10? I don't think so. It's not THAT much more fabric. As you can imagine, I began scheming of ways to avoid the shakedown that is "maternity wear."

The only thing I really want to have that seems out of reach is a pregnancy bathing suit. I want to go swimming when I'm visiting Santa Barbara in a month, but I don't want to spend $100 for a bathing suit I can only wear for a few months. That's stupid. There are a few options that might substitute, but I'm not sure I even want to spend $26 on something I'll only wear a few times before donating it, and I don't want to buy a used bathing suit. That's gross.

So, I may have to fork over some dough for the bathing suit. Not sure on that one, but I'm slowly coming around to the idea. However, that doesn't have anything to do with my everyday wardrobe. So, I will share with you the little known secrets of spending very little to get reasonable clothes that will work even during the later months of pregnancy (and after!). Here is my must have list:

1. Yoga pants are your friend - especially the ones with the fold over waistbands. I bought 2 pairs in a size larger than I normally would have worn before pregnancy. That said, even early on when I didn't look pregnant and wasn't swollen, they fit fine. They stretch. They work forever. Love them. Buy them. Wear them daily.
2. Knit skirts are your friend - especially the ones with the fold over waistbands. Sound familiar? I had two from about a year before I got pregnant that work wonderfully, especially now that summer is gearing up.
3. Broom skirts are worth it. I have two of them. They are floaty, long enough to cover my swollen knees, and are super comfortable.
4. Bra extenders are necessary. I would buy these even if you purchased special maternity bras because your cups grew. The reason is your ribs will continue to expand, and extenders cost like $6 instead of a new bra which if it's any good will be at least $30. See the savings?
5. Maxi dresses are amazing. These things are so comfy and you'll be able to wear them even after you lose the baby weight. I had some from before pregnancy that still work and I bought a few on sale to increase my options. Dress them up with a few accessories and your options are limitless (and comfy! Don't forget comfy!).
6. Peasant tops account for expansion. I went to the discount store and found a slew of peasant tops that were cute and easily accommodated my growing midsection. I think I spent $30 on like 5 shirts. If I'd gotten maternity tops, I might have gotten one nice shirt for that price. Bleh!
7. Raid your husband's cast-offs! A couple of my shirts are old tees Christian doesn't like/wear. I cut out the dorky neckline and voila! I have a cute, fashion forward screen-print top that can handle my burgeoning belly!
8. Flip-flops are amazing! Especially if this is your first pregnancy, your feet are expanding. If you're like me and prego in summer, there is a special kind of swelling happening from toe to sole. Flip-flops make life so much easier. Plus, you don't have to bend down and buckle or tie anything! 
9. Don't be afraid of thrift! While I have NOT gone to thrift stores (just because my shopping schedule doesn't really match theirs) there are a lot of donated maternity items there. You can find all kinds of high end once expensive pieces from the thrift store. So if you can't handle the idea of wearing peasant tops even with a cute belt for 6 months, check them out!

Even if you follow all these secrets, you may still want to buy a few "maternity" pieces (after all, I do love my 3 maternity tops). However, the total amount of money you spend will be peanuts compared to others who can't seem to get past the maternity ads. Your wallet, and your husband will thank you. Besides, you can wear some of those clothes long after you've popped that baby out. I plan to do that with my wardrobe (yes, yoga pants are totally a new mom's best friend!).

Unexpected Symtoms: Itchy Armpits

For the past few days I've had some intense itchiness...in my armpits.

They have been so itchy that I was scratching so hard I nearly broke skin. My poor armpits were scratched raw, red, and puffy under the force of my nails. I didn't change deoderants. I didn't change soaps. I didn't change my razor. We didn't even switch our laundry detergent.

I knew itchy skin was a thing in pregnancy, but specifically the armpits?? That's just weird! I know I'm not the only one because I searched the web and found numerous forum threads discussing this same incredibly annoying issue. But did I find one single blog post about it? Did I find any articles about this? No! Of course not! The web pages moved on to allergic reactions and other useless things completely unrelated to my situation.

Thanks internet. You fail.

I did find a reference to itchy armpits and breastfeeding, but I'm not breastfeeding. My baby is still very much *inside* my uterus, kicking away.

My only guess? This is a hormone thing. The best solution as proferred by random forum threads? Throwing out the antipersperant and slathering on some hydrocortisone cream. So last night, I coated my raw pits with hydrocortisone and went to sleep. In the morning, not only did they feel better, but they looked better too. Instead of reaching for my daily antipersperant, I grabbed my jasmine & vanilla scented babypowder (even before kids, it's always a good idea to have some around). It was gentle enough to keep my skin from getting irritated, but strong enough to keep me from getting stinky or soaked. Granted, I don't sweat a lot (nor do I have strong body odor) so it might not work for everyone. However, my sensitive pits were still dry and happy by the end of the day.

Now I'm wondering why I spent so much on antipersperant all those years. So...the experience may have been a backhanded lesson...

I know there are probably more hidden gems of symptoms waiting for me here in the third trimester, but I'll just have to wait and see what they are. In the mean time, I highly suggest buying some babypowder. That stuff is so much cheaper than antipersperant! If I'm lucky, my other weird symptoms will provide similar cheap lifehacks. Here's hoping!

Pregnancy is Stranger Than Fiction

Just to be clear - my baby is completely human. I don't actually think I've got an alien inside me. I'm not like Simon Parkes or anything. That said, truth is stranger than fiction.

I am undeniably pregnant. People do things for me now - strangers - because of the belly. My daily life and actions are completely different than before. There is no question that I'm absolutely in my third trimester. Thing is, sometimes, I still don't feel pregnant.

I think I'm a little weird.

I've gone through this half-state of being before - in pretty much every period of my life when I've had major changes. Unless there is a complete overhaul, I can't believe the thing is happening. When I say complete overhaul, I mean COMPLETE, as in living in a different country where people speak an unrelated language and the food is different and the smells are different. Another example was college. It was so drastically different (Oh cafeteria food! Yum!) there was no way my mind could play tricks on me.

Marriage, however, was a different animal. Sometimes I still (after 5 years mind!) wake up and think, "Huh. I'm married! Weird!"

Christian doesn't have this problem. He's more normal than I am.

The marriage thing felt like a more subtle change. This was probably because I was used to moving to different places and Christian being around me (we've known each other since 2002). It didn't seem so different. It was like college, or traveling, or pretending to be an adult. Getting a cat and a house started to make it more real, but sometimes it still hasn't set in (That feeling of strangeness has become more rare than before - now I think it's only bimonthly.).

So the pregnancy bit being weird makes sense. Even though my body is changing daily, and I can obviously experience the different symptoms and aspects of what it means to be pregnant, my life isn't THAT different. I still live in the same place I did a year ago with my husband and my cat. I still write all the time. I still take walks around my neighborhood and eat a lot of the same foods (okay, maybe 50% of the same foods). I still exercise (actually, I might be more consistent now). I just can't sit up using my abdominal muscles and sometimes the kiddo kicks my stomach or bladder so hard I think something will come out one way or another.

Even though pregnancy is something nearly half the world experiences, it is strange. It's not just strange because my mind can't wrap itself around the abstract unknown of a new life coming out of my body. Pregnancy is strange BECAUSE a new life is coming out of my body. My body was effectively hijacked. Every system has been diverted or shoved aside (literally!) to make this new person. I don't mind. I'm biologically programmed NOT to mind. I'll be a crazy doting mom just like the next prego lady. In the mean time though, I feel the weirdness of the whole process. It's a short period of my life, but it has drastic consequences. Most of my life I will NOT be pregnant (Thank GOD I'm not that Duggar lady!). 30 years have been spent developing myself, and now I will be responsible for helping to develop someone else - from the very beginning.

Man, that's weird.

Stress and Discomfort in the Third Trimester

Yesterday I found out something kind of scary - the kind of thing you really don't want to find out in the middle of your pregnancy.

No, the baby is fine. No, I'm fine. It's nothing like that.

My husband's work decided to change health insurance providers.

I nearly had a panic attack.

Now, this is not to say the new insurance plan may end up costing less. I don't know. But that's the thing - I don't know. I don't know if dental and vision will be covered. I don't know if they will cover the birth center where I've been going for the past 4 months of my life. I don't know if the $2500 I've paid thus far to the birth center will be taken out of the deductible for this new plan, or even when this new plan will take effect.

There are a lot of unknowns. And it frightens me. I frightens me because I knew more or less what was going to happen up until yesterday and now I don't. It frightens me because I'm already worried about our finances (one of the reasons I'm trying to push out a whole bunch of books - which you can read about here - before I push out a baby).

Needless to say, this change has greatly increased my stress level (at least until I have all my questions answered, and I'm not sure even when that will be).

Add the stress to my growing belly and the consistent mild level of discomfort that has begun the last week or so, and things are a little more difficult than before.

If you can imagine, my clothing all feels incredibly uncomfortable. Nothing feels like it fits, or if it does, it feels too hot. There are new limits to how I can sit comfortably (sitting typing at the computer has become something I can only do in short bursts - which puts quite a damper on my long term plans, and my daily schedules).

Honestly, it feels like my body is at war with me - fighting against everything I should or would be doing. Even the smallest things have become ordeals. Ironically, exercise still feels pretty good, but that's about it. Eating doesn't even hold it's typical level of enjoyment, because usually afterwards I'm greeted by heartburn, or the uncomfortable feeling of my recently ingested food sitting somewhere in the middle of my esophagus.

Yes, things are decidedly more uncomfortable than before. Stress seems to make everything more difficult on top of my regular pregnancy discomforts.

I would love a reprieve.

I will say this: now, more than ever, I am convinced women being called "the weaker sex" is something to make men feel better about the fact that they don't shoulder one of the most physically and emotionally demanding tasks any human could bear.

When I can drink beer again, I will lift a pint in honor of all my big belly sisters. It will be a welcome stress reliever.

In Order to Faint

My Father's Day was a little exciting. By a little, I mean a lot. By exciting, I mean more scary than exciting.

You see, I almost fainted. In church.

Yeah.

I'm usually pretty good about eating well, getting enough sleep (even if it's displaced to other times of the day via naps and aching joints), and I've dramatically increased my water consumption. Unfortunately, all of these efforts are sidelined when confronted by the powerful force of temperature.

Temperature and I haven't always gotten along. I blame both my parents for this. My mother actually is allergic to the cold. Seriously. Allergic. I'm not joking. My father becomes a human sloth in extreme heat. He literally stops functioning.

Guess what? Yeah.

I'm not allergic to the cold, but I do have pernio which leaves lovely blood blisters on my fingers and toes any time they're exposed to wet cold (cold being defined as in the 40s). As to the heat, yeah. I don't function well. Part of this may be due to not sweating.

Okay, I DO sweat. It does happen. It just doesn't happen like it does for most people. I never drip in sweat. A light sheen is about as much as I get (unless it's like 90% humid or something). So what happens when it gets really hot? I can't cool down. My blood vessels expand in an effort to remove excess heat, and my body neglects to coat my skin in water to help carry that heat away.

In other words, it's REALLY easy for me to overheat (Yes, I'm a lizard lady. I told you about that RH negative thing. It's totally true. Really.).

Well, add in a lack of sleep and a high sugar breakfast and then place me in a stuffy ridiculously hot sanctuary and you guessed it - I will keel over like nobody's business. Fortunately for me, I've fainted before (I mean, how could I not with my physiology?!) so I recognized the signs. I started sweating. I tried to drink more water. My skin got cold. My ears started to buzz. My vision started to tunnel. I felt nauseous. Apparently from across the room people could see me turn white as a sheet. Needless to say, we left. Christian and I ended up camping out on a couch in a sitting room for the remainder of the service until I was closer to a normal temperature. I drank more water. I breathed. The baby kicked letting me know s/he was alright (which at the time was very reassuring).

Now I know I can't go to church without my water bottle and my hair up. I also have to ask them to keep the fans on regardless or I literally can't go (at least I couldn't stay in worship). It seems backwards that church could physically endanger me, but there you have it. It can happen when you're a lizard lady who attends a church further inland in a place where the temperature is always 10-30 degrees higher than the coast in summer.

Throughout July and August, pray for me. I'll need it.

Time to drink some more water...

Third Trimester Aliens

I'm in my last week of my second trimester for one more day. Tomorrow I'll cross into the last few months of my pregnancy.

Not only am I huge (so obviously pregnant - get a load of that belly!), but kiddo is big enough that I can feel every little movement now.

I thought this baby was active before, but now I can't seem to do anything without a kick, jab, or poke from the inside. The hiccups that were once rare and easily ignorable have become unnerving spasms that last minutes and seem to happen several times a day.

The movement is pronounced enough that it can be seen from across the room. My belly actually shakes. There was one movement that was so big it actually shook the entire bed, startling both me and my poor cat.

The other night I put Christian's hand on my belly so he could feel all the little shifts and prods kiddo was giving me. It was so consistent and constant, Christian actually became unnerved.

More than ever I feel like I'm harboring a little alien life.

My body isn't supposed to move like that. I'm not supposed to be out of breath after going up the stairs or have to roll to my side before pushing myself up from a reclined position. I shouldn't be eating every two hours or making my second home in the toilet.

It's weird.

But it's also amazing...and terrifying, kind of like a Ridley Scott movie (just kidding - sort of). I'm just waiting for the last few weeks of pregnancy when kiddo can't move as much from lack of space. Maybe then I'll feel like kiddo is completely human.

Spotting the First Time Dad Game

First time dads are special. You can always spot them.

First you have to spot the pregnant lady. Once you've zeroed in on the waddling belly that is every late second to third trimester prego lady, you can check out the guy next to her.

Now an experienced dad may be looking around, maybe enjoying his coffee. Maybe he's window shopping while his partner is grunting her way across the sidewalk. Dad may be herding a toddler. This last bit is a dead giveaway, obviously. However if the couple is by themselves, an experienced dad will be obvious because he won't be so attached to his partner.

Yes it's true that pregnancy brings out a sort of protective tendency in most people, regardless of their connection to the unborn. That said, first time dads are more protective than anyone else in the room. A first time dad will always hold his hand at the small of his partner's back while she walks within arm's reach, or through a doorway, or anything that might potentially cause her to stumble or otherwise be difficult for her to navigate (like weaving through chairs at a restaurant or through a crowded room).

First time dads are also super concerned about what their prego partner is eating. They may even alter their eating habits in order to ensure their pregnant partner is eating the right stuff (i.e. no more soft cheeses, no more lunch meat, no more candy!).

Some first time dads are so excited about baby stuff, they'll actually respond more to young children than they did before their partner was pregnant. Of course, this won't be detectable to someone who isn't close to the couple, but for those of us up close and personal with the dad-to-be, we'll notice how much of a softie he's become.

Of course, I'm talking about first time dads who are *excited* about their expected babies. There are some men who would rather hide at a dive bar or get their crazies out before the kid arrives, because well, these guys really aren't quite ready to be dads. These guys who aren't ready aren't particularly indistinguishable from your average douchebag. If you do run into one of them, they'll probably just make you angry or upset. It's better to just stick to spotting excited first time dads - the men who have accepted their role and responsibility in caring for an eagerly anticipated tiny person.

I have to say, every time I spot a protective first time dad, it puts a smile on my face. Whatever problems or issues the couple might have, that man wants to do right. He wants to be in that little person's life and he's trying to do what he can to support his partner. I can tell he'll be in the birthing room doing whatever he can to help his partner navigate childbirth, and he'll be there changing diapers and waking up in the middle of the night soothing his baby. And that is beautiful.

What's In A Husband During Pregnancy

Anyone who *chooses* to be a pregnant single mom is either crazy, stupid, rich, or incredibly brave. There's really no in between here. Why do I say something that might make me incredibly unpopular (I feel like I can smell the comments coming)? Because I can't IMAGINE being pregnant without Christian, my husband.

Christian is amazing. Really. Actually amazing. When I feel exhausted, which for the first three months was constant, he didn't bat an eye. He started cooking dinner. He started doing the laundry. When my legs started to swell, he massaged them before I went to sleep to literally push the fluid back to where it was supposed to be. He's put lotion on my calves and painted my toenails. He's cleaned the bathtub (which he HATES with a burning passion). He's rubbed my back when I was sore, and he's held me whenever I fell apart weeping. He's grabbed me bottles of cold water when I start to get thirsty and he's given me the extra meat at meals to make sure I was getting enough iron. Of course, he's done late night grocery runs to satisfy crazy cravings, but he's also gone on walks with me when he's bone tired from work to make sure I'm exercising enough.

I know few men are like this with their pregnant partners. I know I'm blessed beyond belief with him.  I thank God every day for him. I do.

And even though I know he is a rare find, I also know, this is what husbands are meant to do. Just like wives should take care of their husbands when they're sick etc, husbands are meant to care for their wives when they're pregnant. It's part of their job - a job that we wives don't even know they're supposed to do until we're in the middle of needing it done.

When we're young girls, we're taught to want some kind of handsome prince or knight in shining armor who will come and rescue us, take us away, marry us and then we'll live happily ever after. The thing is we're never taught what happily ever after looks like. We're taught that we should have children, but the process is abstract, hazy - completely undefined.

We don't know the reality of the thing. We know the prince or knight story is a fake, but we don't know about that happily ever after. We don't know about pregnancy or childbirth. We don't realize what a number it will do on our bodies. We don't know how hard it will be. Going in, we don't realize we won't be able to bend at the waist, or touch our toes, or have days when we can't do more than sleep, eat, and poop (sound familiar?). We just don't know how much we'll need that other person who helped us start this strange journey to stay by us, helping us every single second of every day. Because the reality is, while we might be able to force ourselves to get through it, painfully, horribly, the whole thing is a hell of a lot better when someone is there for every leg cramp, every sob fest, and every late-night craving (Oh! PB&J is happening in like 2 minutes!).

Husbands - partners - spouses are meant to be there. They're meant to care for us waddling prego ladies. And personally, I wouldn't have it any other way.

My Achey Breaky Joints

If you were following my pregnancy progress on A Musing Alexis, then you already know I've had my share of leg issues.

Yeah - the classic swelling to the size of Sequoia stumps was happening (okay not that bad, but it sure feels like it some days). I also had a few lightening sharp leg cramps that have kept me up at night.

Well, those are intermittent. They don't happen ALL the time. Aching joints however, happen daily.

Some people will tell you that the urgent need to pee will get you out of bed when you're preggers. They claim THIS is the reason you won't get sleep at night. They lie. The thing that keeps me from sleeping a full 8 hours straight is the aching in my hips. After about 3 hours of sleeping on one side (which is necessary because sleeping on my back would cause me to lose circulation to my heart - it's a prego thing - and sleeping on my stomach - HA! That's just crazy talk!).

Before you come back with "Well get a body pillow!" um, I have a body pillow. My Snoogle is a nightly companion. And don't bother suggesting stretching, or exercise. I do those things too - daily as much as possible. Oh, and I also have a mattress topper. So yeah. Everything you can possibly have/do to help I have/done.  I still get achey joints.

I blame this on hormones as much as heredity. My mother has already replaced one hip, and apparently arthritis runs in the family (like a plague!). My grandmother has knee issues and my great grandmother had joint issues. I was pretty much doomed to have an achey pregnancy. The additional stress to my joints from weight and fluid and all that jazz just exacerbated what was already there. Thanks Genes! I owe ya one!

What can I do? Well, beyond what I'm doing...uh...nothing. I could take baby Tylenol, but after a little activity the ache goes away. I don't feel like it's bad enough for a long enough time to warrant medication. It's just one of those things I have to deal with for the next few months. Granted, if it starts to get unbearable, I'll have to consider alternatives (more pillows? Drugs? I'm open to suggestions!). In the mean time, I'll just suffer for those daily few stiff moments upon waking.

I Will Be Raising An Alien

For anyone who has been pregnant, you know what I'm talking about. This is especially true when your kiddo is super active and reacts to every movement, word, and food stuff.

Some women compare their unborn children to parasites. Others call them peanuts, stinkers, peas, bees, nuggets, buns, bubs, bundles of joy, little ones...and the list goes on.

But really, let's be honest. Having something growing inside you is a bit Ridley Scott. If you're RH negative, you may have read some of the very "interesting" literature online about your ancestry, which makes you feel even more like you're carrying an alien around inside you (mmm yes, I'm a lizard lady. For reals!).

Maybe my jump to calling kiddo an alien is from my regular exposure to all things science fiction. Maybe it's a little weird. But so are kids. So is parenting (and so am I for that matter!). For this reason, I decided to title my prego/parenting blog thus.

So sit back and enjoy my journey into parenthood, with all my successes and missteps. May my posts be entertaining and illuminating to those who are already embattled parenting veterans and those who are sitting on their beds fantasizing about a little poop machine they can call their own. This is for all of you.