Urban Living Makes Me Cry

I REALLY want to leave Oakland. It's not that I don't like certain parts of the city, or that I don't like it more than SF or other places in the Bay. It's a pretty cool place actually.

It's just this is the third time I've had something stolen, and the 4th time I've felt violated since living in the loft.

Yes. Someone finally took our moldy crappy Ikea chairs today. Someone took a crappy thing right from the front of our place, stealing from a PREGNANT WOMAN. What a bastard.

I am just so tired of it.

I had a pretty emotionally charged day anyway (for reasons that I cannot explain in such a public forum). Needless to say, several other aspects of my life were impacted in a big way today. I was already feeling pretty high strung. Then I came home from a walk and saw my chairs were missing. I didn't notice them missing before, though I did notice (while I was home which makes me feel even worse) someone hanging out in front of our loft. I thought maybe they were cleaning some of the leaves. My neighbors do that. They're diligent. I can't. I'm pregnant. I think it annoys them, but whatever.

Since this is the third time someone from Oakland has taken something from me, I kind of feel like it's the last straw.

You see, I really don't like concrete. I like trees. I don't like cars. I like walking. I don't like the sound of the freeway or the trains. I like the sound of birds and insects. I like the sound of rushing water and wind rustling leaves. I want space and green, and fresh air that isn't marred by my neighbor's morning cigarette. I'd prefer to have a house out away from it all where if someone steps on my lawn, I can by right shoot them. Keep in mind I'm saying this and I'm a pacifist (I swear!).

I'm trying to stay calm, but I'm just so angry I can't see straight. I want to say:

Dear Chair Thief,

I hope you aren't actually a thief, but a secret do-gooder intent on fixing my moldy Ikea wooden folding chairs and planning on returning them to me in a beautiful state because you know that I am pregnant and can't do it myself. If you are actually a thief, I hope you are properly ashamed of yourself because you didn't take chairs from a ritzy Bohemian trust-fund baby. You took the last 2 outdoor chairs of a pregnant writer lady who is freaking out about how she is going to take care of her family this coming year. So, if you are in fact the thief I think you are (maybe the same one who took the other 2 chairs earlier this year?) then I hope you burn in the special hell reserved for people who take advantage of the less fortunate along with robber barons, white collar criminals, and chair thieves everywhere. 

Sincerely,

Your Neighborhood Pregnant Starving Artist

I sense a Craigslist posting here. Possibly a best of? Yes. Maybe that will brighten my day. Really, anything could make me feel better right now, but especially a bunch of book purchases or confirmed blog tour hosts would turn this frown upside down. Other suggestions are welcome.