30 Reasons To Wish Babies Came Early

Earlier this week I would have said I could be pregnant for a few more weeks and be fine.

Part of me still feels that way - the mental and emotional part. Okay, so 2/3 of me feels this way. The other 1/3 of me - my body - is saying "You're joking, right?"

I have officially reached the realm of constant discomfort.

I've heard of this place before, but I didn't really believe it. For all my griping about unexpected symptoms (of which there have been waaaaay too many) I thought pregnancy was alright. It was sort of an adventure. I could get behind the random symptoms because most of the time I got to be a sort of scientist, studying these things in nearly an academic way. It was a learning exercise.

Not any more.

Let's give you a run down of why I wish this kid would come early:

1. Every time I stand up my knees hurt.
2. Half the time I stand up my crotch hurts.
3. I am always sweaty. Always. (FYI - I don't really sweat, so this is reaaaally uncomfortable for me)
4. I am always hot (see above).
5. My maternity pants fit, but are too warm to wear comfortably.
6. My ankles, feet, shins, and fingers are permanently swollen. Sometimes they swell to elephant like proportions.
7. Only one pair of flip-flops I own actually fit me these days.
8. I can't eat whatever I want (and I've been craving pastries now like you wouldn't believe...and ice cream. I really want soft-serve ice cream!).
9. I tire out going upstairs.
10. I can't carry on a phone conversation without pausing to breathe...and not where sentences end but in the middle of sentences - like 2 or 3 times!
11. My head is so congested my ear is full of fluid (I'm getting this fun echo effect. When I say fun, I mean incredibly annoying.).
12. The congestion is giving me mild sinus headaches.
13. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep because my joints ache, I have to pee, AND I'm hungry enough to eat a meal.
14. Sometimes I feel incredibly restless and nothing makes me feel better (even cleaning the stove doesn't work!).
15. Heartburn happens if I lay on my right side.
16. Laying on my left side results in kiddo squeezing up under my ribs in a really uncomfortable way.
17. The only comfortable sitting positions are ones that encourage kiddo to stay in a posterior position.
18. Walking is both necessary (to feel comfortable) and incredibly difficult.
19. Most of my maternity shirts no longer cover my belly completely.
20. My underwear just barely fits so it pinches depending on my position.
21. I have to coat myself in coconut oil to keep my skin remotely normal. It takes hours to be absorbed and I end up feeling really gross as I stick to things and things stick to me as I wait.
22. I pee like 3 times in an hour - every hour.
23. Sometimes even if I just peed, kiddo will move, and then I have to pee again.
24. Picking something up off the floor is a feat of engineering.
25. I can cry over most things without provocation. Sometimes I'm actually upset, but no one can tell the difference.
26. My belly is so big it gets in the way of doing dishes, cleaning, opening doors, and pretty much everything. It is way more uncomfortable for something to press against my belly that it is my shoulder.
27. Cooking at the stove is impossible for longer than like 3 minutes at a time - the heat exhausts me.
28. Half the things I want to get done require the ability to lift more than 20 lbs, expose myself to noxious fumes, or bend in an impossible way.
29. Driving is a bad idea. I have serious hormonal bad judgment (like it is dangerous for me to make right-hand turns) and my legs get horrible cramps when shifting. The result? I'm basically stuck at home.
30. Going between the bed and my bathroom (about 10 steps) is often done with a stumbling waddle because I simply can't get my balance in that amount of steps.

I think that pretty much sums up the final few weeks. For those of you who have been pregnant, what were the reasons you wanted to pop that baby out? Leave a comment below!