Well, I just got back from my midwife appointment and on the ride home I was crying. I seem to be doing a lot of that these days.
Part of it is because of the frustration and helplessness I feel, but part of it is just the insane amount of hormones swimming around in my system. The advice I got from my midwife today sort of amped everything up.
First of all, I've reached full term - so yay! If kiddo shows up at this point, he'll be mature enough to go home with me etc. So that's good. But that wasn't what made me cry (although, probably in the right circumstances it could...you know...because of hormones).
No, the thing that made me cry is I've been measuring big - that is my fundal height is a week over my dates. I've been measuring this way for some time. So it's not exactly measuring big that made me cry this time. However, I've also gained more weight than I would have liked. I think between this appointment and the last full appointment (2 or 3 weeks ago?) I put on like 5 pounds. Now I didn't think my baby was going to be "small" like ever. My body is built similarly to my mother's and my mother had a really easy birth with me, and I was about 8.5 lbs. My midwife thinks my baby is already over 7 lbs.
MW: What have you been eating?"
*Blink* I've basically cut out simple carbs from my diet. If I do eat them, I eat them with meat and veggies of some kind, just like what they told me to do months ago. Sure I splurge sometimes. I'm no angel, but I'm not stuffing my face with Double Stuffed Oreos or something.
Me: I've been drinking a lot of milk.
MW: Low fat milk has a lot of sugar in it. Have you been eating any fruit?
Me: I eat a banana and peanut butter sandwich for breakfast every morning. I eat dates at night.
MW: Dates are like pure sugar.
*Sigh*
So then I did a crazy thing. I asked her what she would recommend as far as diet. She told me if she were me, she'd cut out all carbs. She reminded me that I only have a few weeks left but that it will make a difference in the size of my baby.
For those of you who don't know...what you eat in the last month or so of your pregnancy has a PROFOUND impact on the size of your baby. At this point, all the body parts etc are there. Literally you're just helping your baby to put on that extra layer of protective baby fat.
My midwife was trying to be nice. She said it was my pregnancy and my baby and I could do what I want (yes, thanks...I know...*sigh*) but that having a bigger baby can make labor go longer etc. She said a baby at 7 lbs was easy...a baby at 8 was harder, and at 9...well you might have to go to the hospital.
Right.
Well, I do have a deep pelvis (a lot of extra space in there) which luckily makes birthing babies easier (hooray!). I also have been doing HypnoBabies which makes me feel a lot better about birth and pressure waves and all of that - in other words, I'm not afraid of the process. I wasn't even anxious...well until I got out of this appointment. It made me a little anxious and feel like I need to change my habits. That and probably trying to get on this low carb diet will help me to get back to pre-pregnancy size a lot faster (which I would LOVE! I am seriously missing my jeans!). As upset as the whole prospect makes me, once I got my frustration out through my tear ducts and started looking at meal plans online I began to feel better. There was just one thing that might cause me to struggle.
What do you think my biggest obstacle would be?
You guessed it...Christian. He has a problem. He can't go to the grocery store without getting something sweet or fried. He hides candy bars in the freezer. He buys those cheap artificially flavored lemon cookies. He likes those "granola bars" which are basically a step up from Snickers. He gets processed everything. The amount of crackers that guy consumes is wrong. He's totally addicted to junk. And he thinks he needs to eat this stuff.
Getting him to add veggies to his regular diet is a chore, though he claims not to mind them. In fact, if I cook them, he eats them. It's just he doesn't cook them...and of course, he's been cooking for months. You see the issue here. Even on the car ride home he said, "So basically our diets have to be completely different!"
I laughed mirthlessly at him. My response? "Oh no! It will be a lot harder for me if you're eating something completely different. You're eating this way with me!"
Yes. There has been a coup. The regime has changed. It's time to be a healthy role model because I am not having a junkaholic for a kid. That ship has sailed.
I sense temper tantrums in the making.
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