Post Baby Belly: Nightmares and Fantasies

Raisin.
Dried fig.
A shriveled apricot.

This is the appearance of that excess tummy skin some women are blessed with even months and years after pregnancy.

I have read everything I can about this and I am losing weight slowly but... I still have some wrinkled weird looking jelly belly happening below my belly button. It makes me incredibly self-conscious. I am painfully aware of short shirts that with the slightest movement could display this striped wrinkled monstrosity to the cold light of day.

This is what nightmares are made of. I am not documenting this...well maybe for myself, but not for anyone else to see. That's just not right.

Mine isn't as bad as some women's and I am hopeful that it will eventually find its way back to something close to normal. In the mean time, I forget to anxiously massage lotion into the area more than I would like. I then proceed to stare with critical eyes every trip past a mirror.

What can I do? I didn't realize having a baby would mean I might never be able to have a smooth belly again!

There are things I can do...like lose weight slowly, lotion it up, and drink uber amounts of water...but I am notoriously bad at doing these kinds of things. I mean, I was pretty good before Kiddo, but now I'm lucky if I brush my teeth. If I floss once and brush twice, it's a good day. Seriously.

On a side note, I am amazed more women don't have dental implants by 45. Are our teeth better just long enough to last through child bearing? These are the questions that keep me up at night...

That and my remaining jelly belly.

I'm not as worried about it as I was before starting my exercise regime. Now I feel like most of it will shrink back. I just wish the process was faster. I see all these celebs with their perfect bodies post baby and it makes me really cranky. I mean, why can't I have that?

Oh yeah...

So while I wait for the skin to smooth and the fat to flee, I will try to focus on the positives of the situation: my new eating and exercising habits, and the other bit. You know, that really adorable little person I hang out with on a daily basis. That guy. He's pretty sweet. And he likes to rub my belly like I'm Buddha while he's nursing. Who knows? Maybe I'm lucky several times over. If I'm really lucky, in a year, there won't be any left to rub.

Taking Care of Mommy

Most women will say their baby comes first. Most women will say their life perspective changed some time during pregnancy and their main concerns were related to their child. I would include myself in this however my definition of what comes first is a little different.

Websites talk about needing to take care of yourself when you have a baby. They talk about having a healthy mommy. No one argues with this statement, but there are different interpretations of it. What exactly is a healthy mommy?

For my part, I have to exercise at least 5 days, if not 6 every week. I have compromised my workout length and time of day to allow ease of balancing my parenting responsibilities with this need. That helps keep my body in a good way which is good for Kiddo. I have energy levels that can keep up with his (for now).

But I also need time to write my books, short stories, and blog posts. I need time to shower, brush my teeth, and put on make-up (I don't care what anyone says - this is necessary for me!). I need time to meditate and be alone without agenda. I need adult conversations and professional achievement.

Those are not wants.

So when I don't have them, what happens? Kiddo has an unhealthy mommy.

Some people may say I am selfish and downgrade my needs to wants. They will say I should put my child first and trying to fulfill my "wants" is depriving my child of necessary things like time and attention.

I can tell you right now that when I don't have my needs met, I am not anywhere close to being a good mother. I am distracted, irritated, and whiny. I have no energy and am cold. I am frustrated. I cry randomly. I have no interest in being around my child. I have no interest in being around anyone... until my needs are met.

And once they are? I am a different woman.

Until recently I felt guilty for this. I thought I was a bad mother for needing these things. And then I realized I would be a bad mother if I didn't take care of myself. It isn't selfish to do that - because the reality is when I take care of myself, Kiddo gets the best version of me. He doesn't get conflicting messages. He knows I love him, like to play with him, and will address all of his needs to the best of my ability.

I think there are a lot of women out there who feel the same as I did - guilty for needing things. I am here to tell you: DON'T! Be your best self! Your baby needs that.

Did you feel guilty about taking care of Mommy? Why or why not? Leave a comment below!

Baby-Led Weaning: An Alien Update

The self feeding/eating solids thing is going reasonably well except for a few little bits...

1. I hate the mess. I really do. I hate having to clean him up. I haven't mastered it yet. Kiddo gets goo in his legs' fat folds, under his butt, down his shirt, and on every piece of furniture in a 3 foot radius. On spectacular days, his arms are covered in a thick layer of food which extends to his torso, chin, mouth, and of course his hair.  I'd rather Kiddo eat naked and then hose him off which doesn't work at this point (unfortunately!). For now I try to keep the messiness to a minimum and at night before his bath. This is marginally practical.
2. Sometimes I forget to plan his meals. I am so used to him nursing all the time, I forget he needs something else and I end up scrambling at the last minute. It makes me feel guilty - like I'm neglecting him and therefore I'm an unfit mother.
3. Kiddo doesn't like "baby foods." He likes adult foods with spices and herbs and oil. This means he no longer eats plain anything. He just plays with plain food leaving it all around him in a 3 foot radius. This means I have to be a little more conscious about his food and making it tasty...which I am sooo good at! *rolls eyes*

So what does he like?

• Grandma's red sauce
• Tomatoes - plain, unripe, doesn't matter. He LURVES them.
• Pasta - all kinds
• Spanish rice
• Fried rice
• Sweet potato
• White beans (in things or herbed up)
• Carrots
• Garlic (in things of course)
• Dal (lentils)
• Refried beans
• Pinto beans
• Black beans
• Red beans (sensing a trend?)
• Applesauce
• Banana
• Bean cakes
• Multigrain pancakes
• Peas
• Ground turkey
• Salmon
• Watermelon
• Peaches
• Plums
• And fresh Cheerios

white bean, carrot, and garlic cakes - yum!

Things he isn't crazy about

• Corn
• Zucchini
• Broccoli (though if I flavored it, he might like it again)
• White potatoes
• Green beans
• Old Cheerios (sitting in the travel case too long?)
• Strawberries (though it may have changed)

Things he drools over from afar:

• Gelato
• Ranch dressing
• Yogurt
• Kale salad
• Green salad
• Anything brightly colored or unusual (in texture or shape)

Things we're getting ready to try:

• New recipes from BLW sites (veggie cakes, muffins etc)
• More green or root veggies with herbs and spices(I want him to like vegetables dang it!)
• Chicken (canned without salt if I can find it)
• Tuna (canned without salt if I can find it)
• Scrambled egg
• Bell pepper (roasted?)
• Mushrooms
• Fresh fruit dipped in plain yogurt

I am determined to get better at this feeding thing. Having declared it, I'm sure we're bound for success.

What success have you had with transitioning to solids? Favorite recipes? Favorite plain foods? Leave a comment below!

Postpartum Weight Loss: The Next Steps

45 pounds. Since the last day of pregnancy that is how much I've lost.

It isn't as fast as it could have been. I still have further to go to reach my goal weight. Still...the fat I gained from pregnancy is gone and muscle has officially taken up residency.

I'm proud of the change because it isn't just the disappearing fat and increasing muscle. It's also lifestyle changes. I feel wrong when I miss a workout. I feel icky when I indulge a little too much on a weekend. It doesn't have to do with guilt either - it has to do with where I am in relation to my goals, my mood, and my energy.

Plain and simple: when I eat well and workout, I feel better.

This is exactly what I wanted and continue to want for myself. I want to model this behavior for Kiddo. I want him to be excited about good foods and physical activity. Sure, I have my cheating moments. I'm not perfect and I know I need to indulge a little every now and then...but I never go completely off track.

This week I started T25 and I have to say I was psyched. The beginning of the week felt easy, mostly because I just finished Jillian Michaels' sado-masochistic Body Revolution. Then I started pushing myself harder and today my double workout was tougher. My muscles are pleasantly sore from yesterday's session and I couldn't be happier.

My plan is to be more on board with the nutrition plan with this program. Because Kiddo nurses less, I feel more comfortable doing that. I think the slowness of my weight loss has a lot to do with my nutrition more than my activity. With that change, I feel confident I can reach my goal. If I hunker down and drop at least 35 pounds of fat and increase my lean muscle, I will be quite happy (I do have it to lose, believe me!). That will put me at my goal.

How long do I have? I'm giving myself until Christmas (though it may happen before then). If I reach it my plan is to buy a Betty Page dress, a bathing suit, and a pair of shorts.

And they will be perfect. I mean perfect.

I think that is a great way to start off 2015, don't you?

What has been your mommy weight loss journey? Leave a comment below!

Great Personality: MBTI in the Family

I happen to be in the one percent, at least when it comes to personality. You see, I recently rediscovered the Jungian MBTI types in my quest for developing and evaluating our family plan.

It turns out that both Christian and I are rare types. Christian is an INTP and I am an INFJ. He is an analyzer - a systems guy who develops theories for fun. I, on the other hand, am like a real life oracle (complete with dreams and foreknowledge). Though we have opposite temperaments, other aspects are not only compatible, but highly complimentary. He helps ground me with truth and I open his heart. Lost in our heads (in different ways) we do well together (probably why we seemed like an old married couple from the start). This type match has been called "the golden pair" because of the kind of developmental benefits it brings to each partner.

Note: If you are curious about the pitfalls of such a relationship, the answer is yes. The descriptions I've read could be talking about us specifically (it is cool and simultaneously unnerving).

This exploration makes me wonder about Kiddo's personality.

If two people of such rare types have a kid, what kind of child will he be? What kind of preferences will he have? I mean, Kiddo has clear preferences already. His type is already determined (so it would seem).

Initially I thought he was extroverted but now I'm not sure. He hesitates when encountering new things - something introverts do. He likes rhyming stories and music, but that could mean he is intuitive or sensing. He is very social and reacts strongly to changes of mood around him, which indicates feeling. The preferences he makes known are so strong and clear, it would seem he inherited judging from me.

Could we have another INFJ on our hands? Would that give us an advantage? Hmm.

What is your type? Did your kids inherit your personality or your partners? How did that impact your parenting? Leave a comment below!