Taking Care of Mommy

Most women will say their baby comes first. Most women will say their life perspective changed some time during pregnancy and their main concerns were related to their child. I would include myself in this however my definition of what comes first is a little different.

Websites talk about needing to take care of yourself when you have a baby. They talk about having a healthy mommy. No one argues with this statement, but there are different interpretations of it. What exactly is a healthy mommy?

For my part, I have to exercise at least 5 days, if not 6 every week. I have compromised my workout length and time of day to allow ease of balancing my parenting responsibilities with this need. That helps keep my body in a good way which is good for Kiddo. I have energy levels that can keep up with his (for now).

But I also need time to write my books, short stories, and blog posts. I need time to shower, brush my teeth, and put on make-up (I don't care what anyone says - this is necessary for me!). I need time to meditate and be alone without agenda. I need adult conversations and professional achievement.

Those are not wants.

So when I don't have them, what happens? Kiddo has an unhealthy mommy.

Some people may say I am selfish and downgrade my needs to wants. They will say I should put my child first and trying to fulfill my "wants" is depriving my child of necessary things like time and attention.

I can tell you right now that when I don't have my needs met, I am not anywhere close to being a good mother. I am distracted, irritated, and whiny. I have no energy and am cold. I am frustrated. I cry randomly. I have no interest in being around my child. I have no interest in being around anyone... until my needs are met.

And once they are? I am a different woman.

Until recently I felt guilty for this. I thought I was a bad mother for needing these things. And then I realized I would be a bad mother if I didn't take care of myself. It isn't selfish to do that - because the reality is when I take care of myself, Kiddo gets the best version of me. He doesn't get conflicting messages. He knows I love him, like to play with him, and will address all of his needs to the best of my ability.

I think there are a lot of women out there who feel the same as I did - guilty for needing things. I am here to tell you: DON'T! Be your best self! Your baby needs that.

Did you feel guilty about taking care of Mommy? Why or why not? Leave a comment below!