Help End Our Homelessness!

Technically my family is homeless. I mean, if you go by the government's definition. We don't pay utilities. We don't have a mortgage or rent (thank my parents!). We have a bed to sleep on by the grace of my parents' goodness.

If something happened to my parents tomorrow, we would need some place to live. Fast.

Honestly, if Christian made his current salary in 1000s of other places in the US we could make ends meet. We would still have $1000 in loan payments every month, but at least we wouldn't have to worry about housing.

California is rough.

Santa Barbara is one of if not the absolute worst.

There is currently a lottery for the possibility of affordable housing. And this housing? Studios through 2 bedroom condos.

Wow.

Really helpful guys.

Totally perfect for those of us who want to start a family and possibly grow.

I have no interest in trying to saddle myself with a $400K mortgage to live in a place with such extreme wealth disparity. I have no interest in paying $1000 monthly for a studio to live in a place where everything costs more, there is little diversity, and a laissez faire culture. I don't want Kiddo to grow up like that.

If I'm going to live in a small space, I want it to be mine. I want it beautiful. I want that space to point to a new way of interacting with the world.

In short, I want a tiny house.

The only thing keeping us from starting our build is a place to build it. Once we have that spot, we can start assembling materials and determining a location for it to park.

But I need your help. We need your help.

Where should we build our home? Will you let us build it on your property? Do you know someone who would let us build it on their commercial or residential property?

One High Needs Baby

High needs. Sensitive. Active.

These are words that describe Kiddo, along with observant, curious, social, playful, bright, and sweet.

But the first three, they dictate our parenting style.

Kiddo needs to be cuddled. He needs to move.  He doesn't sleep as long as other babies. He eats waaaay more often than most kids. He wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to play...pretty much every night at least once. Even if he doesn't, he rolls around like he's fighting off rabid monkeys.

He needs novelty in his toys. He needs distractions. Kiddo needs to be held.

To outsiders they see how social he is. They see his smile and think he's perfect all the time. I mean, he does let almost anyone hold him so...

Yeah. No.

Kiddo needs a LOT of extra attention. But people don't see that. So they think I shouldn't need to carry him all the time. They think we shouldn't need to bedshare. Except those attachment parenting strategies are what cause him to be so sweet.

I could ignore Kiddo's cries. I could leave him alone in the pack n play. I could let him wail for hours. And he would. I could do that and he would become an anxious, sad, distant little boy.

But I don't.

I say this so you know why today was rough. Last night no one slept. Kiddo tossed and turned. He wailed off and on until we gave him some baby ibuprofen. And this morning? Constant whimpering. He wouldn't sit in his highchair. He didn't want to play by himself. He only wanted to cuddle. Then he didn't want to stay in my lap but wanted to be on the floor gripping my leg. Needless to say, I couldn't do my workout at all (which lately has only been possible with someone watching him or by taking a 10 minute cuddle break). Instead I wore him in a front carry walking to the elementary school and back.

Writing? Ha. I can barely get meals together today. These are the days when peeing is a luxury. I have more of these days than not. Every baby has moments like this, but weeks on end means you have one high need kid.

I have heard it ends. I'm looking forward to that.

Traveling Across Country with Baby

Though this is belated, I figure I should give you a head's up about the traveling on a plane with a baby thing...except I can't. Honestly, I don't think I can give you any help or tips.

I'm not bragging or trying to be a horrible human being when I say Kiddo is perfect. I mean, really. He made everyone around him happy. Other than the expected meltdown when he was completely zonked or teething - he was a total trooper.

He laughed when the plane took off. He laughed when landing. The flight attendant said she'd never seen a better baby in flight. He was smiling and happy the entire time. He smiled when he met his great aunts and uncles. He smiled when he met his cousins. He smiled when he met complete strangers. In fact, he flirted shamelessly with older women EVERYWHERE WE WENT (He even had separation anxiety when his new girlfriends of five seconds left him forever - complete with pathetic whimpering.).

He did teethe.

There were several nights he barely slept because his teeth were coming through...and VIOLA! He now has a total of 6 teeth (4 came in up top ALL AT ONCE...ick.). That part was rough.

The meltdowns in the carseat when he was exhausted and just wanted to snuggle with his mommy were rough. Those happened...at least once a day which considering how much driving we did daily, was a minor miracle.

He even did well with the complete strange babysitter during my cousin's wedding and reception. Kiddo was a perfect baby.

And that wasn't lost on people. I mean, he got noticed. His sweetness was noticed. And I had to tell everyone over and over: All babies are not like this. They aren't all this sweet and charming and perfect. Don't be fooled into thinking you'll have one like this - you might, but don't count on it.

Christian's family has a history of inspiring other people into having children because his family has such sweet babies, and then, well, these people get screwed. I guess there was a rash of babies wherever his parents lived after each of their four children was born. Ha.

So yes, Kiddo was a doll and lovely with everyone however I wouldn't want to travel with a baby again. Why? Because it's still rough on even the most cooperative of babies. Their routines are all jacked up. They get constipated. They get exposed to a thousand bagillion germs on the plane. They have to suffer being confined in a car seat way more than they'd ever care to. They have no idea when they're supposed to sleep. They have no idea when they're supposed to eat. Everything is all goofy and the result is crankiness on the part of either the parent, the baby, or everyone involved.

So yeah. Kiddo is perfect...or it was a minor miracle we came out unscathed.

10 Month Terror

10 months. Kiddo is almost 10 months old.

It seems like he was born yesterday...that he was a little human pupae and now...

Now he's a terror.

I mean, Kiddo is sweet. He really is. And I'm confident in saying he's probably the most perfect child next to Jesus and Buddha but...but...BUT he's still a baby.

And he's getting into things. And getting sharp teeth that he uses on everything. And purposefully drops his food on the floor. And pulls all the CDs and DVDs to the floor. And eats paper, to the point that NO paper is safe from his tiny chubby clutches. And he whimpers. And he wriggles whenever I try to change his diaper. And he beams whenever I offer him a toy he likes. And then he swings it around so hard it goes flying. And he dumps the kitty food. And he pulls on the drawers. And he chews on any cable he can magically get his hands on. And he laughs when you tell him "no" or scream "ow."

And he grows 2 inches in 3 days. Literally. Thursday night he was short enough to have inches between his head and the table. Saturday he was hitting his head.

He talks all the time. I know he's trying to tell stories, so I respond as best as I can and this seems acceptable. I seem to be fooling him into thinking I understand. This gets him to talk more. Well, a combination of baby babble and real English words.

But he also cuddles, and hugs, and tries to give kisses. And he smells like sunshine and spring. And his eyes are windows into the Divine.

And we made him. He grew in me and came into this world through my efforts. And I think of that every time he falls asleep, twining his fingers with mine.

The Bare Necessities

As part of our family plan, we're sharing all aspects as we move forward. In an effort to get the help we need, I'm going to lay out some of the specifics relating to our tiny house.

First, we need a place to build the house and a place to park it. They could be one in the same, but not necessarily.

Once we have that in place (pun intended), we can start amassing materials In an ideal world, we'd buy everything new. Of course, that's not where we are these days. So we're looking to trade, barter, sell, as well as receive donations, or sponsorship.

Note: I am not a builder. Christian is the construction/assembly/mechanical person. This is the basic/essential/what I can think of list of our needs.

That said, this is a general list of materials we'll need to realize our tiny house dream:

• Trailer or gently used camper - The camper would be ideal because we'll be able to strip it down to the frame and use the parts as desired.
• Hardware (nails, screws, etc).
• Windows - if using a trailer as a base (or upgrades to the camper frame?)
• LED light fixtures & bulbs  - they use less power and last forEVAR.
• Metal roofing - hot tin roof anyone? Cheap and easy to install.
• Ceramic coating - for the roof. This stuff is the same they use on shipping container houses and acts as insulation and siding. It's AMAZING.
• Log cabin faux siding (no reason why we can't have a cool looking house)
• Wood molding
• Wood - for the inside walls, any framing, and built-in furniture.
• Locks
• Cabinet hinges, knobs, and latches
• Finish/oil (for the wood)
• Composting toilet - will remove the issue of black water/sewage.
• Piping - so we can have running water
• Water tank
• Wiring - so we can have power...and the interwebs...and music.
• Outlets
• Switches
• Batteries
• Solar panels
• Shower - duh! Esp with trailer base
• Sinks (br and kitchen) - esp with trailer base
• Fridge - so we can eat...you know...we like to sometimes.
• Ceiling fan? Not sure on this one...but it may be necessary (I don't think AC is happening.).
• Door - I would like one that splits to allow airflow as well as baby containment.
• Hanging screen - this might change because Christian has this cool idea for an enclosed porch...LUV!
• Counter top (kitchen)
• Curtains/blinds
• Washing machine/dryer - to allow us to continue to cloth diaper
• Cushions (for those built-ins)
• Rain water collection system - which will only work in places like Michigan and Pennsylvania (California is allergic to rain.).

SO...and this is important! If you have lines on any of these items, or know of some possible property in Santa Barbara county where we can build and or park this house, PLEASE CONTACT ME! Also ideas for sponsorship or places that might donate materials will be greatly appreciated.

I have a lot of ideas, but I'm also limited by sleep deprivation and baby care. Any and all help solving this problem will be GREATLY appreciated.