Don't Touch My Baby!

Seriously. Stop it! It's flu season!

I know kiddo is freaking adorable but if another random stranger (or friend!) touches him I'll start cutting off hands.

Okay maybe no meat cleavers, but I might growl at people. I've been known to do that. And I think this reaction is completely reasonable, mostly because people do not wash their hands!!!

I know people don't wash their hands because the big flu this year is transmitted most often by unwashed hands. It has also resulted in a butt-load of quarantines at health care facilities (one local retirement community had 75 employees out!).

The most basic rule about touching babies is you WASH YOUR HANDS! Babies have limited immune systems because, well, they're BRAND NEW TO THE WORLD! So, unless you've washed your dirty gross hands for 10 seconds under running water with soap, DO NOT TOUCH MY BABY! And no, hand sanitizer DOES NOT COUNT! That just keeps viruses, dirt, and gross on your hands. Disgusting.

So when I tell you to keep your hands to yourself, listen to me. Don't take it personally. You're not the one who will be up all night with a sick baby. You won't be the one freaking out because your insurance hasn't come through yet so you don't know if you can go to the emergency room when kiddo has a high fever (Yes, that's still a thing.). And REALLY don't take it personally if you INSIST on touching my kid and I yell at you. You'll deserve it. Unless I see you washing your hands for 10 seconds, it didn't happen. Sorry. Them's the breaks.